Bach Flower Advice

Is it wrong to feel unhappy?

is it wrong to feel happy

Are you unhappy?

Do you have the feeling that your life could be better? Do you feel dejected, discouraged and unhappy at the moment? You see other people laughing; hear the kids playing in the backyard and happy faces are smiling at you all around? Are you feeling alienated in this environment as you are doing not well?

If this is how you feel right now, than you are probably going through hard times now and feel unhappy. What now?

No need to feel guilty

Don’t feel guilty! Everybody goes through a bad period from time to time and there’s always sunshine after the rain. If it would always be sunny, we would live in the desert. That’s why it is so important to accept, that humans need to have bad experiences too. No matter what it is; if something bad happened, your love life seems unfulfilled or you’ve lost a person who was close to you: only having a heart of steel could prevent us from being down sometimes. Therefore, it is completely normal to feel blue from time to time. There is no reason at all to feel guilty about it.

It’s temporarily

When a road goes downhill, it will eventually go uphill again. In the tale of Till Eulenspiegel (original: Dyl Ulenspegel) a hiker asks why he felt so well, even though climbing up the hill is such a burden. The answer was simple, he was happy to know that after climbing the hill, he could walk down again and it would be so much easier. Do it like Till Eulenspiegel, focus on the happy times that come after the dark period you’re going through right now!

You are not alone

Most people in this world are living in precarious conditions. Wars, disease, pollution and crime bring harm and suffer for many people in our world. Sometimes your own problems seem less problematic if you take a look at how other people are living and how unhappy – or better yet – how happy they still are. Suddenly your own situation might look less hopeless, you begin to develop more empathy for others and you will be able to look at your own situation more realistically.

Help others

This is directly connected to what you’ve just read. Engage yourself, go out and offer your help to those who have it worse than you. A residential home for the elderly, a children’s home or a hospice – a lot of institutions in your neighborhood or your local area could use your help. It is also possible to join a neighbors association, to help in a soup kitchen or support children in your neighborhood by helping them doing their homework. You will be surprised how much joy and gratefulness you will experience. And as a very nice side effect, your own unhappiness will disappear so much faster than by just sitting on your couch and watching TV.    

Stay active

People who are unhappy, depressed or down tend to isolate themselves from society. Nothing could be more wrong. Well, there is no need to put your evening dress while still having tears in your eyes either. But a short walk through the park in the fresh air, a bike trip around the corner or – if the weather is bad – having a coffee in a nice bar will help you to get back on track faster again. Exercise is the best thing you can do. Go for it and you’ll be amazed how a short run through the park or swimming a few meters in a pool will change your mood and your wellbeing for the better.

So don’t let yourself go, make plans to go out - as soon as you feel able to.

Pamper yourself

Do you remember the last time you did something nice just for yourself? Buying a new shirt, taking a hot bath or reading this book you’ve heard so much about – do you even remember the last time you did those things? The time is now! Switch off the TV, forget about your smartphone and just do something for yourself. Enjoy, relax and you will find new energy and vitality faster than you would expect. 

Don’t give up!

You’ve tried everything and there’s still no light at the end of the tunnel?  The clouds just don’t seem to disappear? Get professional help! If your car breaks down, you probably wouldn’t repair it all by yourself. So when it comes down to your wellbeing and you feel like you’re burning out, don’t try to experiment on your own! Talk to your GP, to a specialist or join a support group, if you are not able to find the way out alone. Don’t slump; there is no reason to surrender! If you need help, go for it, it is all about yourself and your own life.

There is nothing wrong about feeling unhappy sometimes. But it is important to be aware of your situation and to look for a way out. If you manage to do this on your own or with the help of others, there is one thing you should never forget: Sunshine comes after the rain, always.

Created by Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.

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Is it wrong to feel unhappy?

Is it wrong to feel unhappy?
is it wrong to feel happy

Are you unhappy?

Do you have the feeling that your life could be better? Do you feel dejected, discouraged and unhappy at the moment? You see other people laughing; hear the kids playing in the backyard and happy faces are smiling at you all around? Are you feeling alienated in this environment as you are doing not well?

If this is how you feel right now, than you are probably going through hard times now and feel unhappy. What now?

No need to feel guilty

Don’t feel guilty! Everybody goes through a bad period from time to time and there’s always sunshine after the rain. If it would always be sunny, we would live in the desert. That’s why it is so important to accept, that humans need to have bad experiences too. No matter what it is; if something bad happened, your love life seems unfulfilled or you’ve lost a person who was close to you: only having a heart of steel could prevent us from being down sometimes. Therefore, it is completely normal to feel blue from time to time. There is no reason at all to feel guilty about it.

It’s temporarily

When a road goes downhill, it will eventually go uphill again. In the tale of Till Eulenspiegel (original: Dyl Ulenspegel) a hiker asks why he felt so well, even though climbing up the hill is such a burden. The answer was simple, he was happy to know that after climbing the hill, he could walk down again and it would be so much easier. Do it like Till Eulenspiegel, focus on the happy times that come after the dark period you’re going through right now!

You are not alone

Most people in this world are living in precarious conditions. Wars, disease, pollution and crime bring harm and suffer for many people in our world. Sometimes your own problems seem less problematic if you take a look at how other people are living and how unhappy – or better yet – how happy they still are. Suddenly your own situation might look less hopeless, you begin to develop more empathy for others and you will be able to look at your own situation more realistically.

Help others

This is directly connected to what you’ve just read. Engage yourself, go out and offer your help to those who have it worse than you. A residential home for the elderly, a children’s home or a hospice – a lot of institutions in your neighborhood or your local area could use your help. It is also possible to join a neighbors association, to help in a soup kitchen or support children in your neighborhood by helping them doing their homework. You will be surprised how much joy and gratefulness you will experience. And as a very nice side effect, your own unhappiness will disappear so much faster than by just sitting on your couch and watching TV.    

Stay active

People who are unhappy, depressed or down tend to isolate themselves from society. Nothing could be more wrong. Well, there is no need to put your evening dress while still having tears in your eyes either. But a short walk through the park in the fresh air, a bike trip around the corner or – if the weather is bad – having a coffee in a nice bar will help you to get back on track faster again. Exercise is the best thing you can do. Go for it and you’ll be amazed how a short run through the park or swimming a few meters in a pool will change your mood and your wellbeing for the better.

So don’t let yourself go, make plans to go out - as soon as you feel able to.

Pamper yourself

Do you remember the last time you did something nice just for yourself? Buying a new shirt, taking a hot bath or reading this book you’ve heard so much about – do you even remember the last time you did those things? The time is now! Switch off the TV, forget about your smartphone and just do something for yourself. Enjoy, relax and you will find new energy and vitality faster than you would expect. 

Don’t give up!

You’ve tried everything and there’s still no light at the end of the tunnel?  The clouds just don’t seem to disappear? Get professional help! If your car breaks down, you probably wouldn’t repair it all by yourself. So when it comes down to your wellbeing and you feel like you’re burning out, don’t try to experiment on your own! Talk to your GP, to a specialist or join a support group, if you are not able to find the way out alone. Don’t slump; there is no reason to surrender! If you need help, go for it, it is all about yourself and your own life.

There is nothing wrong about feeling unhappy sometimes. But it is important to be aware of your situation and to look for a way out. If you manage to do this on your own or with the help of others, there is one thing you should never forget: Sunshine comes after the rain, always.


Marie Pure

Other articles


20 natural ways to prevent and relieve headaches

20 natural ways to prevent and relieve headaches

Headaches can be a real nuisance, especially if you get them frequently. Luckily, there are many natural ways to prevent and relieve headaches without needing to reach for over the counter medication.

Read the complete article

verleden-loslaten

Letting go of the past: 5 tips

Lynn Anderson told it very nicely in her song “I beg your pardon; I never promised you a rose garden”. Life isn’t all roses and everybody experiences something they would rather not once in their life.

Read the complete article

How to know when to say no

How to know when to say no

It's often difficult to say no, but some people never do! So how do you know when to say no and when to say yes?

Read the complete article

Mistakes as a Parent

Mistakes as a Parent

Can we learn from our mistakes and develop a stronger, healthier emotional bondwith our kids? To help you identify your weak spots, we’ve rounded up some of the most common mistakes parents make.

Read the complete article

fear of fireworks dogs

7 tips to help your dog with a fear of fireworks

As nice as it is for a person to celebrate New Year, it's not so nice for a dog, especially when the loud fireworks go off the whole night. This is really frightening for many dogs. Read our 7 tips on how you can help your dog with his fear of fireworks.

Read the complete article

Hiding a depression find out if someone you know - or you yourself! - is doing this

Hiding a depression: find out if someone you know - or you yourself! - is doing this

It's not always easy to tell if someone has depression. While some signs such as sadness, pessimism and withdrawal from social interaction are easy to recognise, other symptoms may be less obvious. And some people are very good at hiding their depression - even from themselves!

Read the complete article

7 Reasons Why Your Child is Underperforming

7 Reasons Why Your Child is Underperforming

As parents, we often worry about a poor school report as much, if not more, as our kids do! And if your child's grades are slipping, you'll be looking for reasons and if there's anything you can do to help.

Read the complete article

How to spice up your life

How to spice up your life

Do you feel you're always doing the same things and not getting anywhere? It's common to feel stuck in a rut, treading water and just going through the motions.

Read the complete article

Let's make 2021 better than 2020

Let's make 2021 better than 2020

For many people, 2020 has been one of the worst years they can remember. The COVID -19 pandemic and social unrest have changed our lives in ways we would not have believed possible a year ago. And when January 2021 comes around, we're still likely to be facing many challenges. Can 2021 be a better year?

Read the complete article

Top 5 nonsensical reasons to have doubts about yourself

Top 5 nonsensical reasons to have doubts about yourself

It happens to everyone at times: we start doubting ourselves. We worry about the decisions and whether we can face future challenges that life has in store. And sometimes we feel that we just aren't good enough.

Read the complete article

Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.

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