It’s difficult to estimate how many people are affected by a loss of sexual desire because we do tend to keep such information personal. One British 'sex census' of 24,709 people, found that approximately 16% of women have a low sex drive. In the USA another survey of 32,000 women, found that 38% reported a lack of sexual desire.
The thing is, sexual desire waxes and wanes over time. There are many reasons why men and women may abandon any sexual intimacy. Problems at work, stress, depression, pregnancy and childrearing are just a few reasons.
If you are looking for ways in which to increase your sex drive or to pique your interest in sexual relations once more, why not try some of our tips?
Have you become bogged down in the mundanity of your relationship? Do you and your partner take each other for granted? If the answer to this is yes, you need to start considering each other once more. Healing a relationship means being engaged in each other and caring about the other person’s life.
Pamper one another. You can do this by sharing a leisurely bath or offering a free massage. This doesn’t need to lead to sex every time, it should be all about reconnecting with each other. Remember touch is extremely important. Encourage your partner to touch you without it always leading to sex.
There are several reasons why taking more exercise can help to boost a low libido. Firstly, the physicality of getting out and about will help to raise your serotonin levels which means you’ll have plenty of good feelings, and secondly, getting fitter will improve your physique which may be all you need to feel good about yourself. Self-esteem is an important part of our libido.
The idea of spontaneity in sex is somewhat overrated. As soon as you are bogged down in a proper adult life of the 9-5 plus commute, kids, gym, shopping and all the chores that go with your life, spontaneity goes out of the window. Instead, try planning the occasion. Knowing you’ll be doing the deed at such a time and such a place will build your anticipation. You’ll start fantasising about it and making plans. Before you know it, you’ll be feeling electric.
Hand in hand with the above tip is the suggestion that you flirt. How long have you been with your partner? It may be that you have forgotten how to flirt. Do you ever maintain eye contact longer than a brief second? Go out and share a bottle of wine over dinner like the old days, and see what that does for you.
You could try exploring a world of sexual desire through films and books. Share what you find with your partner and see what turns them on. The more you see or read, the more your imagination will take over. You may pick up a few new tricks or you’ll see things you would like to try out. Offer each other a ‘free ticket’ that allows each of you to try out something you’ve never done before. You don’t have to repeat the experience if you don’t like it, but you won’t know till you’ve tried it.
As humans it is important to remember that our whole bodies can be the site of erogenous zones, there is no need to focus only on genital stimulation – and this applies to men’s bodies as much as women’s. By focussing on other areas you are likely to increase pleasure while easing performance pressure. Take your time and tease your way to new heights of desire.
It may be that you don’t feel good about your life or yourself and this is causing a loss of libido. If you are feeling down, you need to find ways to pick yourself up again. Of course this is easier said than done, but take time to look after yourself, perhaps with pamper session, a new haircut or clothes, or find ways to cheer yourself up through taking on new challenges – such as an exercise class or a new interest. Ideally what you’re looking to do is improve your self-esteem and you might do this by going on a diet or eliminating toxins from your lifestyle. A poor body image is a major cause of loss of libido, so take steps to feel better about yourself.
If nothing seems to be working, then you might need to consider taking some professional medical advice. Factors such as stress can seriously damage your libido, or you may have a hormonal imbalance.
Keep a sense of humour and if you’re suffering performance anxiety, remember that not every sexual encounter will work out. Laugh off the times it doesn’t and try not to put too much pressure on yourself or your partner. With a little love and attention, you will see things improve.
Looking to improve your libido? We have a list of 16 foods that will improve your libido and general health and wellbeing. Read on for our tips.
Do you sometimes despair about humanity because it seems there are far more bad people than good? Are we primarily selfish individuals, thinking only about our own needs? Or is this cynical belief just because we spend so much time online? The truth is more complicated!
Millions of people furloughed for months are now being recalled to work. Others, who have been working from home throughout the lockdown, are returning to the office. And some jobs have simply disappeared: many people are facing redundancy and will soon have to cope with job hunting. Going back to work after an unprecedented length of time at home is quite a challenge.
Feel like everyone takes you for granted? Whether it's working late to prepare a presentation or cooking a special birthday meal for your partner, it's nice to be appreciated when you've made an extra effort. And if it seems as if people don't notice, you might feel as if no one values you.
Read the complete article
Do you feel you’re always criticising and judging everyone, yourself included? Do you feel bad about it afterwards? You’re certainly not alone! Read on to discover how you can judge less and start to accept things the way they are.
Love life in decline? Your love life has to decline as you reach middle age, or when you’ve been married or with your partner for a long period of time, fact or fiction? You may see a decline in your love life while still in your 20s and 30s. What are the reasons for a love life in decline? Read on and find out.
It's not always easy to tell if someone has depression. While some signs such as sadness, pessimism and withdrawal from social interaction are easy to recognise, other symptoms may be less obvious. And some people are very good at hiding their depression - even from themselves!
Have you considered yoga? There are many advantages to practicing yoga. It is a holistic practice benefitting you physically, emotionally & mentally.
You see the word "toxic" everywhere these days, but what does it really mean? You've almost certainly come across someone who fits the description. Dealing with difficult personalities can be challenging and emotionally exhausting, to say the least.
Irrational anxieties can seem overwhelming, affecting every aspect of your life. Learn how to beat your fears and worries and take back control.
Are you unsure which Bach flowers can help you? Contact Tom for free advice.
