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Letting go: A guide for survivors

Letting go A guide for survivors

Facing the loss of a family member or close friend is probably one of the most difficult challenges that life throws at us. When we've lost a partner, parent, brother or sister, we're likely to experience intense grief.

While death is a natural part of our lives, we may still be overwhelmed by shock, confusion and sadness that may trigger more extended periods of depression. Our feelings of sadness at the death of a loved one may lessen as time goes by, but it's essential to acknowledge the process of grieving and continue to look back on the times you spent together.

We all react differently when a loved one dies, and we all find unique ways of coping with grief. But there's no set time scale for grieving - for some people, it takes months, while others need a year or two to come to terms with their loss. But over time, most people can recover from the grief of bereavement if family and friends support them.

You may have heard about the phases of grief, from the initial shock and denial through anger, depression and finally taking a positive turn towards working through the loss. Most people will grieve for a while and then be able to move on with their lives. But others may need additional support as their grief prevents them from carrying out their usual daily activities. And not everyone experiences the stages of grief in chronological order. Instead, your feelings might swing back and forth from day to day, especially in the earlier stages of grieving.

Letting go of a loved one 

It's never easy to let go of a loved one. It can take time, but some healthy coping strategies may help someone who's grieving to accept their loss and find a new sense of purpose in life.

Take your time

There's no time limit on mourning. There are so many variables with grief, such as the age of the loved one, the length of your relationship and how they died - for example, was it sudden, natural, or traumatic? Different circumstances play into the length of time we need to accept our loss, and setting a time limit on grieving can add to the stress of bereavement. Instead, accept that everyone's different, and you'll be able to move on when you're ready.

Don't avoid others

If you avoid others, you're isolating yourself from a support network of family and friends who can help you with the process of healing. Talking about loss enables you to acknowledge what has happened and lets you share memories of your loved one.

Look after your physical health

Take care of yourself and your family. Grieving takes its toll physically as well as mentally. So check in on loved ones and make sure they're eating well, getting enough sleep and exercising regularly.

Have a funeral that honours their personality

A funeral lets you express your grief in a cathartic way. Organising a funeral that represents the core values and personality of the deceased is a way to celebrate their life and honour their memory. Writing a eulogy and choosing beautiful music, flowers and readings helps to carry you through the early days of grief and can bring a sense of closure.

Remember how they impacted your life and honour their legacy

Did your loved one have a strong influence on your life? Maybe they supported and inspired you during your education or perhaps you chose your career path to follow in their footsteps. Remembering how they helped you and continuing their achievements in your own life can help you to come to terms with your loss.

Help others to cope with the death of your loved one

When you spend time with other family members and friends of the deceased, it helps everyone cope. Whether it's looking at photos, listening to music or sharing memories, a little effort can make a massive difference for some people. And when you help others, it also allows you to feel better.

Remember anniversaries

The anniversary of losing a loved one can be difficult, but it can also be a time to celebrate and honour them. Choosing to do something positive to mark the date, whether it's raising funds for their favourite charity or planting a rosebush in their memory, can help you move forward and reconstruct your life.

Accept your emotions

It's always painful to lose someone, but it will get easier with time, and healthy coping mechanisms will help you get through. You'll probably experience a range of feelings, including anger, sadness and weariness. These emotions are completely natural, and it's helpful to recognise them. Bach Flower Mix 68 can help you in bereavement, soothing grief, reducing anger, fighting depression and helping you to accept your loss and let go.


Sources:

https://www.cruse.org.uk/

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/feelings-and-symptoms/grief-bereavement-loss/

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/bereavement/about-bereavement/

Created by Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.

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Letting go: A guide for survivors

Letting go: A guide for survivors
Letting go A guide for survivors

Facing the loss of a family member or close friend is probably one of the most difficult challenges that life throws at us. When we've lost a partner, parent, brother or sister, we're likely to experience intense grief.

While death is a natural part of our lives, we may still be overwhelmed by shock, confusion and sadness that may trigger more extended periods of depression. Our feelings of sadness at the death of a loved one may lessen as time goes by, but it's essential to acknowledge the process of grieving and continue to look back on the times you spent together.

We all react differently when a loved one dies, and we all find unique ways of coping with grief. But there's no set time scale for grieving - for some people, it takes months, while others need a year or two to come to terms with their loss. But over time, most people can recover from the grief of bereavement if family and friends support them.

You may have heard about the phases of grief, from the initial shock and denial through anger, depression and finally taking a positive turn towards working through the loss. Most people will grieve for a while and then be able to move on with their lives. But others may need additional support as their grief prevents them from carrying out their usual daily activities. And not everyone experiences the stages of grief in chronological order. Instead, your feelings might swing back and forth from day to day, especially in the earlier stages of grieving.

Bach flowers mix 68: Bereavement

Bach flowers mix 68 helps to:

  • Deal with the shock of the death of a loved one 
  • Soothe the grief 
  • Reduce anger and aggression 
  • Combat dejection 
  • Accept the death of the loved one and let go 
  • Overcome and prevent possible hallucinations and fears
Discover how Bach flowers mix 68 can help you

Letting go of a loved one 

It's never easy to let go of a loved one. It can take time, but some healthy coping strategies may help someone who's grieving to accept their loss and find a new sense of purpose in life.

Take your time

There's no time limit on mourning. There are so many variables with grief, such as the age of the loved one, the length of your relationship and how they died - for example, was it sudden, natural, or traumatic? Different circumstances play into the length of time we need to accept our loss, and setting a time limit on grieving can add to the stress of bereavement. Instead, accept that everyone's different, and you'll be able to move on when you're ready.

Don't avoid others

If you avoid others, you're isolating yourself from a support network of family and friends who can help you with the process of healing. Talking about loss enables you to acknowledge what has happened and lets you share memories of your loved one.

Look after your physical health

Take care of yourself and your family. Grieving takes its toll physically as well as mentally. So check in on loved ones and make sure they're eating well, getting enough sleep and exercising regularly.

Have a funeral that honours their personality

A funeral lets you express your grief in a cathartic way. Organising a funeral that represents the core values and personality of the deceased is a way to celebrate their life and honour their memory. Writing a eulogy and choosing beautiful music, flowers and readings helps to carry you through the early days of grief and can bring a sense of closure.

Remember how they impacted your life and honour their legacy

Did your loved one have a strong influence on your life? Maybe they supported and inspired you during your education or perhaps you chose your career path to follow in their footsteps. Remembering how they helped you and continuing their achievements in your own life can help you to come to terms with your loss.

Help others to cope with the death of your loved one

When you spend time with other family members and friends of the deceased, it helps everyone cope. Whether it's looking at photos, listening to music or sharing memories, a little effort can make a massive difference for some people. And when you help others, it also allows you to feel better.

Remember anniversaries

The anniversary of losing a loved one can be difficult, but it can also be a time to celebrate and honour them. Choosing to do something positive to mark the date, whether it's raising funds for their favourite charity or planting a rosebush in their memory, can help you move forward and reconstruct your life.

Accept your emotions

It's always painful to lose someone, but it will get easier with time, and healthy coping mechanisms will help you get through. You'll probably experience a range of feelings, including anger, sadness and weariness. These emotions are completely natural, and it's helpful to recognise them. Bach Flower Mix 68 can help you in bereavement, soothing grief, reducing anger, fighting depression and helping you to accept your loss and let go.


Sources:

https://www.cruse.org.uk/

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/feelings-and-symptoms/grief-bereavement-loss/

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/bereavement/about-bereavement/


Marie Pure

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Even the brightest minds have setbacks!

Even the brightest minds have setbacks!

We all want to be successful but many of us find the path to achieving our dreams is blocked by our fear of failure. Whether you’re trying to lose weight, go backpacking around the world or start up a new business, you need to accept that you might fail many times over before you achieve success.

Read the complete article

7 Reasons Why Your Child is Underperforming

7 Reasons Why Your Child is Underperforming

As parents, we often worry about a poor school report as much, if not more, as our kids do! And if your child's grades are slipping, you'll be looking for reasons and if there's anything you can do to help.

Read the complete article

goede-voornemens

A new year, a new me

It’s such a positive thing to do and hope springs eternal, so why not commit yourself to a change this year? Here’s our tips on how to stick to your new year’s resolutions.

Read the complete article

Can you accept things you can't change Take our quiz!

Can you accept things you can't change? Take our quiz!

Your relationship ends, or you lose your job, and you get stuck in a rut of negative thoughts and suffering. How good are you at letting go of grudges and accepting that some things are beyond your control? Take our quiz to find out!

Read the complete article

20 natural ways to prevent and relieve headaches

20 natural ways to prevent and relieve headaches

Headaches can be a real nuisance, especially if you get them frequently. Luckily, there are many natural ways to prevent and relieve headaches without needing to reach for over the counter medication.

Read the complete article

5 Signs of narcissistic perversion

5 Signs of narcissistic perversion

Narcissism is a term we often see these days. But what does it mean? It's used to describe a person who is full of themselves or overly vain. However, it's not really about self-love.

Read the complete article

Choose for your happiness

Choose for your happiness!

Being happy is something everybody strives for, but unfortunately there are a lot of people who go through life unhappily. A lot of people take life how it is.

Read the complete article

Are you stuck in a rut

Are you stuck in a rut?

Sometimes it’s hard to notice when we've become trapped in familiar routines. Take our quiz to find out if you’re stuck in a rut and what you can do about it.

Read the complete article

What makes it so hard to go back to work

What makes it so hard to go back to work?

Millions of people furloughed for months are now being recalled to work. Others, who have been working from home throughout the lockdown, are returning to the office. And some jobs have simply disappeared: many people are facing redundancy and will soon have to cope with job hunting. Going back to work after an unprecedented length of time at home is quite a challenge.

Read the complete article

How to stop everything going wrong

How to stop everything going wrong

Do you always feel that everything’s always going wrong? Find out how to stop this cycle of bad thoughts in its tracks. When you think positively, things will start to appear positive and you will eventually feel more positive and optimistic.

Read the complete article

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