Letting go: A guide for survivors

Letting go: A guide for survivors
Letting go A guide for survivors

Facing the loss of a family member or close friend is probably one of the most difficult challenges that life throws at us. When we've lost a partner, parent, brother or sister, we're likely to experience intense grief.

While death is a natural part of our lives, we may still be overwhelmed by shock, confusion and sadness that may trigger more extended periods of depression. Our feelings of sadness at the death of a loved one may lessen as time goes by, but it's essential to acknowledge the process of grieving and continue to look back on the times you spent together.

We all react differently when a loved one dies, and we all find unique ways of coping with grief. But there's no set time scale for grieving - for some people, it takes months, while others need a year or two to come to terms with their loss. But over time, most people can recover from the grief of bereavement if family and friends support them.

You may have heard about the phases of grief, from the initial shock and denial through anger, depression and finally taking a positive turn towards working through the loss. Most people will grieve for a while and then be able to move on with their lives. But others may need additional support as their grief prevents them from carrying out their usual daily activities. And not everyone experiences the stages of grief in chronological order. Instead, your feelings might swing back and forth from day to day, especially in the earlier stages of grieving.

Bach flowers mix 68: Bereavement

Bach flowers mix 68 helps to:

  • Deal with the shock of the death of a loved one 
  • Soothe the grief 
  • Reduce anger and aggression 
  • Combat dejection 
  • Accept the death of the loved one and let go 
  • Overcome and prevent possible hallucinations and fears
Discover how Bach flowers mix 68 can help you

Letting go of a loved one 

It's never easy to let go of a loved one. It can take time, but some healthy coping strategies may help someone who's grieving to accept their loss and find a new sense of purpose in life.

Take your time

There's no time limit on mourning. There are so many variables with grief, such as the age of the loved one, the length of your relationship and how they died - for example, was it sudden, natural, or traumatic? Different circumstances play into the length of time we need to accept our loss, and setting a time limit on grieving can add to the stress of bereavement. Instead, accept that everyone's different, and you'll be able to move on when you're ready.

Don't avoid others

If you avoid others, you're isolating yourself from a support network of family and friends who can help you with the process of healing. Talking about loss enables you to acknowledge what has happened and lets you share memories of your loved one.

Look after your physical health

Take care of yourself and your family. Grieving takes its toll physically as well as mentally. So check in on loved ones and make sure they're eating well, getting enough sleep and exercising regularly.

Have a funeral that honours their personality

A funeral lets you express your grief in a cathartic way. Organising a funeral that represents the core values and personality of the deceased is a way to celebrate their life and honour their memory. Writing a eulogy and choosing beautiful music, flowers and readings helps to carry you through the early days of grief and can bring a sense of closure.

Remember how they impacted your life and honour their legacy

Did your loved one have a strong influence on your life? Maybe they supported and inspired you during your education or perhaps you chose your career path to follow in their footsteps. Remembering how they helped you and continuing their achievements in your own life can help you to come to terms with your loss.

Help others to cope with the death of your loved one

When you spend time with other family members and friends of the deceased, it helps everyone cope. Whether it's looking at photos, listening to music or sharing memories, a little effort can make a massive difference for some people. And when you help others, it also allows you to feel better.

Remember anniversaries

The anniversary of losing a loved one can be difficult, but it can also be a time to celebrate and honour them. Choosing to do something positive to mark the date, whether it's raising funds for their favourite charity or planting a rosebush in their memory, can help you move forward and reconstruct your life.

Accept your emotions

It's always painful to lose someone, but it will get easier with time, and healthy coping mechanisms will help you get through. You'll probably experience a range of feelings, including anger, sadness and weariness. These emotions are completely natural, and it's helpful to recognise them. Bach Flower Mix 68 can help you in bereavement, soothing grief, reducing anger, fighting depression and helping you to accept your loss and let go.


Sources:

https://www.cruse.org.uk/

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/feelings-and-symptoms/grief-bereavement-loss/

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/bereavement/about-bereavement/

Share
Marie Pure

Other articles


Is your sex life putting your relationship at risk

Is your sex life putting your relationship at risk?

Sexual desire is a complex interaction of hormones, emotions and well-being. When your partner is not as interested in sex as you are, it’s rarely a rejection of you as a person. So it’s essential to be as empathetic as you can regarding your differing libidos.

Read the complete article

Find out if you're suffering from imposter syndrome

Find out if you're suffering from imposter syndrome

Do you sometimes feel your achievements are not the result of your hard work and skill but are just luck? And do you fear that one day, someone will reveal you as an imposter or fraud? You might have imposter syndrome!

Read the complete article

Why you're not the best

Why you're not the best

What are your aims in life? Do you plan to be rich, to be a top footballer, to be a good parent, or to become Prime Minister? However efficiently you plan your life, sooner or later you are going to come up against obstacles to achieving your goals.

Read the complete article

How can I help my child achieve their dreams

How can I help my child achieve their dreams?

Children's imaginations know no limits and their dreams are a mix of hopes and fantasies, the real and the magical, the impossible and the achievable.

Read the complete article

Let's make 2021 better than 2020

Let's make 2021 better than 2020

For many people, 2020 has been one of the worst years they can remember. The COVID -19 pandemic and social unrest have changed our lives in ways we would not have believed possible a year ago. And when January 2021 comes around, we're still likely to be facing many challenges. Can 2021 be a better year?

Read the complete article

verleden-loslaten

Letting go of the past: 5 tips

Lynn Anderson told it very nicely in her song “I beg your pardon; I never promised you a rose garden”. Life isn’t all roses and everybody experiences something they would rather not once in their life.

Read the complete article

Stop worrying and live in the moment

Stop worrying and live in the moment

People spend so much of their time regretting the past and worrying about the future. But it’s not worth it! Even what happened yesterday doesn't matter anymore! Let go of the past and the future and make the most of every moment.

Read the complete article

How to be less judgemental of others (and yourself!)

How to be less judgemental of others (and yourself!)

Do you feel you’re always criticising and judging everyone, yourself included? Do you feel bad about it afterwards? You’re certainly not alone! Read on to discover how you can judge less and start to accept things the way they are.

Read the complete article

What can you do if your kid doesn't want to go back to school

What can you do if your kid doesn't want to go back to school?

What can you do if your kid doesn't want to go back to school? Here are our hints and tips to help if your child is expressing a refusal to go to school.

Read the complete article

Mistakes as a Parent

Mistakes as a Parent

Can we learn from our mistakes and develop a stronger, healthier emotional bondwith our kids? To help you identify your weak spots, we’ve rounded up some of the most common mistakes parents make.

Read the complete article

Free personal advice for your problem?

Are you unsure which Bach flowers can help you? Contact Tom for free advice.

tom vermeersch
Tom Vermeersch

Yes, I want free advice

No thanks, I will do my own research