Your relationship ends, or you lose your job, and you get stuck in a rut of negative thoughts and suffering. How good are you at letting go of grudges and accepting that some things are beyond your control? Take our quiz to find out!
When changes happen, we often respond with anger and resentment, blaming others for our inability to move on. Our anger arises because we can't control the situation. We may blame ourselves for not having worked hard enough, or because we stayed too long in a toxic relationship. We can only move on when we accept that what we can control is our response. Rather than beating ourselves up, we learn from any mistakes we may have made and break the cycle of negative thinking.
The first step to being more compassionate to yourself is to accept that things are what they are. Find out how good you are at accepting things you can't change: read the following statements, tick the appropriate response, and then add up your scores.
1. I'm curious and open to learning and new experiences.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
2. I'm self-aware and have a realistic view of my health, money, and relationships.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
3. If there's something I disapprove of or don't like in the world, I still believe that it's real and that things are the way they are.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
4. I am aware of my emotions, thoughts and desires, including the parts of myself I don't like.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
5. I am aware of my softer, more vulnerable side.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
6. If I dislike something about myself, I accept it and don't try to deny it.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
7. I understand clearly the difference between accepting something and doing what I can to change it for the better.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
8. I can acknowledge physical or emotional pain rather than pushing it away.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
9. Even if it's painful, I accept that particular things are real, whether about myself or others.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
10. I feel my emotions without trying to change or fix them.
a) strongly disagree
b) disagree
c) neither agree nor disagree
d) agree
e) strongly agree
Give yourself 1 point for every time you answered a), 2 points for each b), 3 points for every c), 4 points for every d) and 5 points for every e). Now add up your scores:
You have a clear and accurate view of yourself and the external world and accept things for what they are. Whether regarding health, relationships or money, you look at difficulties honestly and don't run away from facing problems. You accept your deepest feelings and emotions and aren't ashamed or embarrassed about them. Even if you wish your thoughts, desires and feelings were different, you acknowledge them and don't feel a need to suppress or change them.
You have a reasonably good understanding of the external factors that are often beyond your control, such as your health, finances and work. However, there are probably areas where you could apply a little more realism. The same applies to your inner thoughts and feelings: while you might not be aware that you're suppressing emotions, you could explore your inmost desires more deeply. While you understand that there are many things you can't change or control, you know you can make changes that will improve your life.
Currently, you aren't accepting of either your inner feelings or the external world. Are you afraid of what you might find if you examine your deepest emotions more closely? Perhaps your anxiety was caused by past events, and you have been unable to let it go. But today, your fears might not have any basis in reality. Try to develop resilience that will help you to bounce back from internal and external challenges.
If you're stuck in a pattern of negative thoughts, anxiety and depression, Bach Flower Mix 85 contains elm and a balance of pure flower essences to help you overcome fear and boost your confidence. You will be able to make decisions, move on and take on life's challenges again.
Accept that there are things you can't control, don't waste energy on holding grudges and live a happier life!
Sources:
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/reclaim-your-power-by-let_b_731942#:~:text=It's%20found%20within%20the%20lines,t%20like%20something%2C%20change%20it.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201705/how-stop-worrying-about-things-you-cant-change
Some people are overly sensitive to the time change and it can take days, if not weeks, for them to feel right again, while others barely even notice.
Read the complete article
What are your aims in life? Do you plan to be rich, to be a top footballer, to be a good parent, or to become Prime Minister? However efficiently you plan your life, sooner or later you are going to come up against obstacles to achieving your goals.
It happens to everyone at times: we start doubting ourselves. We worry about the decisions and whether we can face future challenges that life has in store. And sometimes we feel that we just aren't good enough.
Do you feel you’re always criticising and judging everyone, yourself included? Do you feel bad about it afterwards? You’re certainly not alone! Read on to discover how you can judge less and start to accept things the way they are.
It's natural to compare our own lives with those of others - weighing up the pros and cons of situations helps us make decisions. But there can be a downside when you find you're constantly comparing yourself with others, envying their seemingly perfect lives and wondering why they are luckier, more prosperous, and better looking than you.
It's not always easy to tell if someone has depression. While some signs such as sadness, pessimism and withdrawal from social interaction are easy to recognise, other symptoms may be less obvious. And some people are very good at hiding their depression - even from themselves!
We all want to be successful but many of us find the path to achieving our dreams is blocked by our fear of failure. Whether you’re trying to lose weight, go backpacking around the world or start up a new business, you need to accept that you might fail many times over before you achieve success.
It’s such a positive thing to do and hope springs eternal, so why not commit yourself to a change this year? Here’s our tips on how to stick to your new year’s resolutions.
Bad habits waste your energy and time. They disrupt your life, risk your health and stop you from achieving your aims. So why do we do them? And what can we do to break our bad habits?
Narcissism is a term we often see these days. But what does it mean? It's used to describe a person who is full of themselves or overly vain. However, it's not really about self-love.
Are you unsure which Bach flowers can help you? Contact Tom for free advice.
