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Do you feel you’re always criticising and judging everyone, yourself included? Do you feel bad about it afterwards? You’re certainly not alone! Read on to discover how you can judge less and start to accept things the way they are.
We all make judgements about others; it’s part of human nature. We judge people as soon as we meet them, based merely on their appearance, their clothes and their manners. The problem is we don't really know them at all.
We also pass judgement on those we do know. They do or say something that upsets us, and we feel disappointed or angry with them. We don't try to understand their actions: we just think worse of the person.
Judging ourselves against others is one way in which we establish our identities, for good or bad. We may judge our self-worth based on how our attractiveness, intelligence and wealth compare to others. Self-criticism often stems from a lack of self- confidence and anxiety. Bach Flower Mix 44 is formulated to drive away fears while supporting positive emotions and self-belief.
Instagram and Facebook bombard us with glamorous images. But in a way, this is just stage dressing, and we can never know what’s really going on behind the scenes unless we know the person well. Judging ourselves against others who appear more successful, prettier or wealthier is a sure way to suffering anxiety and stress.
We make social judgements about ourselves because we are not completely happy with who we are. It might not be possible ever to be 100% satisfied with ourselves, (and we’d be pretty smug if we were!). However, rather than criticising ourselves, it’s better to self-assess. We can decide how near we are to being the person we want to be without comparing ourselves to others.
While it’s human nature to judge others, it’s not always helpful to us to do so. Being judgemental doesn’t make us happy. These tips will help you to judge less and be more accepting.
When you find yourself passing judging someone because of what they’ve done or how they look, imagine their backstory and the circumstances that might have caused them to act that way. Picture yourself walking in their shoes. Instead of instantly labelling them, try to communicate with them and find out their story. You’ve probably had similar experiences and can remember how they affected the way you felt and acted. Trying to understand someone is the first step towards acceptance.
Once you’ve tried to understand, then just accept. The world is what it is, and most things are beyond your control. Once you’ve acknowledged that you’re unlikely to be able to change the situation, you can stop feeling frustrated, inadequate, angry or envious and can start to move on from these negative feelings.
Be curious and live your life as fully as possible. Packing in as many new and exciting experiences as you can will crowd out self-criticism and leave little room for judging others.
Just because you’ve judged a person as lacking a particular skill, don’t fall into the trap of applying this assessment to all areas of their life. Nearly everyone is better at some things than they are at others: if a person is a poor communicator, they might be great at maths and vice versa.
We need to distinguish between evaluations (judgements) and observations. Evaluations that we make when judging yourself are just opinions, such as “I’m foolish”, or “I can’t motivate myself”. The same applies to our evaluations of others: “He’s doing that all wrong” or “She was very rude to me”. Rather than evaluating a situation, say what you see and express your own feelings regarding the situation. For example, “I’m cross because she pushed to the front of the queue”.
This pause for reflection allows you to judge the action, not the person. Pushing to the front of the queue is a rude action, for sure, but perhaps the person thought they had a good reason for acting in such a way? As the old saying has it, judge the sin, not the sinner.
The judgements we make about others are an unavoidable part of life, but we can all learn to be a bit less quick to judge others and ourselves. Developing new habits and a more positive way of looking at the world will take time and practice, but it’s well worth it as it will make your life happier.
Created by Tom Vermeersch
Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.
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Do you feel you’re always criticising and judging everyone, yourself included? Do you feel bad about it afterwards? You’re certainly not alone! Read on to discover how you can judge less and start to accept things the way they are.
We all make judgements about others; it’s part of human nature. We judge people as soon as we meet them, based merely on their appearance, their clothes and their manners. The problem is we don't really know them at all.
We also pass judgement on those we do know. They do or say something that upsets us, and we feel disappointed or angry with them. We don't try to understand their actions: we just think worse of the person.
Judging ourselves against others is one way in which we establish our identities, for good or bad. We may judge our self-worth based on how our attractiveness, intelligence and wealth compare to others. Self-criticism often stems from a lack of self- confidence and anxiety. Bach Flower Mix 44 is formulated to drive away fears while supporting positive emotions and self-belief.
Instagram and Facebook bombard us with glamorous images. But in a way, this is just stage dressing, and we can never know what’s really going on behind the scenes unless we know the person well. Judging ourselves against others who appear more successful, prettier or wealthier is a sure way to suffering anxiety and stress.
We make social judgements about ourselves because we are not completely happy with who we are. It might not be possible ever to be 100% satisfied with ourselves, (and we’d be pretty smug if we were!). However, rather than criticising ourselves, it’s better to self-assess. We can decide how near we are to being the person we want to be without comparing ourselves to others.
While it’s human nature to judge others, it’s not always helpful to us to do so. Being judgemental doesn’t make us happy. These tips will help you to judge less and be more accepting.
When you find yourself passing judging someone because of what they’ve done or how they look, imagine their backstory and the circumstances that might have caused them to act that way. Picture yourself walking in their shoes. Instead of instantly labelling them, try to communicate with them and find out their story. You’ve probably had similar experiences and can remember how they affected the way you felt and acted. Trying to understand someone is the first step towards acceptance.
Once you’ve tried to understand, then just accept. The world is what it is, and most things are beyond your control. Once you’ve acknowledged that you’re unlikely to be able to change the situation, you can stop feeling frustrated, inadequate, angry or envious and can start to move on from these negative feelings.
Be curious and live your life as fully as possible. Packing in as many new and exciting experiences as you can will crowd out self-criticism and leave little room for judging others.
Just because you’ve judged a person as lacking a particular skill, don’t fall into the trap of applying this assessment to all areas of their life. Nearly everyone is better at some things than they are at others: if a person is a poor communicator, they might be great at maths and vice versa.
We need to distinguish between evaluations (judgements) and observations. Evaluations that we make when judging yourself are just opinions, such as “I’m foolish”, or “I can’t motivate myself”. The same applies to our evaluations of others: “He’s doing that all wrong” or “She was very rude to me”. Rather than evaluating a situation, say what you see and express your own feelings regarding the situation. For example, “I’m cross because she pushed to the front of the queue”.
This pause for reflection allows you to judge the action, not the person. Pushing to the front of the queue is a rude action, for sure, but perhaps the person thought they had a good reason for acting in such a way? As the old saying has it, judge the sin, not the sinner.
The judgements we make about others are an unavoidable part of life, but we can all learn to be a bit less quick to judge others and ourselves. Developing new habits and a more positive way of looking at the world will take time and practice, but it’s well worth it as it will make your life happier.
Feel like everyone takes you for granted? Whether it's working late to prepare a presentation or cooking a special birthday meal for your partner, it's nice to be appreciated when you've made an extra effort. And if it seems as if people don't notice, you might feel as if no one values you.
Read the complete article
Do you suffer from a disorder known as "musturbation"? This term was first coined in the 1950s by psychotherapist Albert Ellis and described the way a negative inner voice rules our minds and bludgeons us with words such as "must", "should", and "ought".
Bad habits waste your energy and time. They disrupt your life, risk your health and stop you from achieving your aims. So why do we do them? And what can we do to break our bad habits?
Going back to school during a pandemic is a new experience for everyone, and it's understandable if children are feeling anxious about it. We take a look at some of the issues and how you can help your child to get ready for returning to the classroom.
You see the word "toxic" everywhere these days, but what does it really mean? You've almost certainly come across someone who fits the description. Dealing with difficult personalities can be challenging and emotionally exhausting, to say the least.
Do you feel you're always doing the same things and not getting anywhere? It's common to feel stuck in a rut, treading water and just going through the motions.
What are your aims in life? Do you plan to be rich, to be a top footballer, to be a good parent, or to become Prime Minister? However efficiently you plan your life, sooner or later you are going to come up against obstacles to achieving your goals.
Children's imaginations know no limits and their dreams are a mix of hopes and fantasies, the real and the magical, the impossible and the achievable.
Since the outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic, governments around the world have taken unprecedented measures to stop the spread of coronavirus. The rapid changes we've seen have had an impact on almost every aspect of our lives.
Learn how to recognise the signs of stress and avoid slipping into a burnout or a bore-out
Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.
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