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Why you're not the best

Why you're not the best

What are your aims in life? Do you plan to be rich, to be a top footballer, to be a good parent, or to become Prime Minister? However efficiently you plan your life, sooner or later you are going to come up against obstacles to achieving your goals. 

Most of us gradually understand that whatever our ambitions, we’re unlikely ever to the best and that not all our goals are achievable. While you might accept that you might never be the best at something, the secret to a happy life is to strive to fulfil your potential and be the best you can be. 

To achieve a significant ambition, you have to cope with many challenges along the way. It’s how you respond to obstacles in your path that determines whether or not you can achieve your aims.

As you come across each challenge, you can either give up or press onwards. Some might despair and give up when they encounter a roadblock while others see it as just another obstacle that can be overcome. This might mean taking a different path and adapting your plans as circumstances change.


What are the barriers stopping you from being the best?

So you’ve set out your goals and decided that this year you will make real progress towards achieving them. But there’s a risk that blocks and obstacles will prevent you from realising your dreams. 

Recognising and anticipating that barriers that stop you from being the best will help you to overcome them. While unforeseen circumstances might cause you to change or postpone your plans, the main reason for not being the best is you. You may well be inadvertently sabotaging your success because of a fear of failure, negative thinking or a lack of planning.

Here are some strategies to help you be the best and fulfil your true potential.  

1. Identify the things that are holding you back

As you think about your ambitions, what fears and negative ideas come to mind? It might sound counterproductive, but write down a list of all the barriers that you see as standing between you and your dreams.

Now, take each item in turn and think about ways in which you can overcome this obstacle. You’ve now made a plan and by taking each challenge in turn, you can achieve your aims.

2. Network

Learn from others. Whether in the real world or on social media, take advantage of networking with people who have succeeded in their aims.

Ask them about their mistakes, what challenges they came across and how they overcame them.  

3. Baby steps

While keeping an eye on your ultimate goal, don't just look at the bigger picture. This could lead to discouragement as it seems so far away. Keep working through your list of challenges and concentrate on solving each one in turn.

Taking continuous small steps will prevent you from being overwhelmed by the scale of the task.

4. Keep motivated

Come up with a list of reasons why you have chosen the goals that you are aiming for. Think about the benefits that achieving your ambitions will bring. How will you feel? What will your quality of life be like? How will the lives of your family change? 

When you feel in need of motivation, reading the list will remind you of exactly why you’re striving to achieve your goals.

5. Be prepared to change your plans

External circumstances may influence your course of action. Bear in mind that being the best isn’t just about material wealth. You need to look at your life holistically.

For example, you might be offered the promotion you’ve been striving for but it means moving to another part of the country… and your child has just settled at the local school. In these circumstances, you might well decide to revise your goals towards being a better parent and spending more time with the family rather than having a high-flying career. 

6. Celebrate each win

Every challenge that you overcome brings you a step nearer to your goals. Rather than waiting until you have achieved your dream, reward yourself with a small celebration with each minor victory. Small treats like these will keep you on track and motivate you to fulfil your ambitions.

Add a mini-treat to each obstacle you listed the plan you came up with in #1 above and celebrate as you tick off each one in turn.

7. Think positively

When you face challenges, don't dwell on the negative aspects but find solutions that carry you forwards. Take pride in your skills and achievements in overcoming problems. ‘Most importantly, keep an open mind, be prepared to adapt your plans to meet changing circumstances, and never stop learning. 

Be determined and don't give up on your goals: while you might never be the very best, savour each achievement along the journey and enjoy living your best life.

Created by Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.

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Why you're not the best

Why you're not the best
Why you're not the best

What are your aims in life? Do you plan to be rich, to be a top footballer, to be a good parent, or to become Prime Minister? However efficiently you plan your life, sooner or later you are going to come up against obstacles to achieving your goals. 

Most of us gradually understand that whatever our ambitions, we’re unlikely ever to the best and that not all our goals are achievable. While you might accept that you might never be the best at something, the secret to a happy life is to strive to fulfil your potential and be the best you can be. 

To achieve a significant ambition, you have to cope with many challenges along the way. It’s how you respond to obstacles in your path that determines whether or not you can achieve your aims.

As you come across each challenge, you can either give up or press onwards. Some might despair and give up when they encounter a roadblock while others see it as just another obstacle that can be overcome. This might mean taking a different path and adapting your plans as circumstances change.

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Bach flowers personal mix:

  • Personal combination
  • Based on your symptoms and character
  • Bach flower remedy personally selected by Tom
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Discover how Personal Bach flowers remedy - Wizard can help you

What are the barriers stopping you from being the best?

So you’ve set out your goals and decided that this year you will make real progress towards achieving them. But there’s a risk that blocks and obstacles will prevent you from realising your dreams. 

Recognising and anticipating that barriers that stop you from being the best will help you to overcome them. While unforeseen circumstances might cause you to change or postpone your plans, the main reason for not being the best is you. You may well be inadvertently sabotaging your success because of a fear of failure, negative thinking or a lack of planning.

Here are some strategies to help you be the best and fulfil your true potential.  

1. Identify the things that are holding you back

As you think about your ambitions, what fears and negative ideas come to mind? It might sound counterproductive, but write down a list of all the barriers that you see as standing between you and your dreams.

Now, take each item in turn and think about ways in which you can overcome this obstacle. You’ve now made a plan and by taking each challenge in turn, you can achieve your aims.

2. Network

Learn from others. Whether in the real world or on social media, take advantage of networking with people who have succeeded in their aims.

Ask them about their mistakes, what challenges they came across and how they overcame them.  

3. Baby steps

While keeping an eye on your ultimate goal, don't just look at the bigger picture. This could lead to discouragement as it seems so far away. Keep working through your list of challenges and concentrate on solving each one in turn.

Taking continuous small steps will prevent you from being overwhelmed by the scale of the task.

4. Keep motivated

Come up with a list of reasons why you have chosen the goals that you are aiming for. Think about the benefits that achieving your ambitions will bring. How will you feel? What will your quality of life be like? How will the lives of your family change? 

When you feel in need of motivation, reading the list will remind you of exactly why you’re striving to achieve your goals.

5. Be prepared to change your plans

External circumstances may influence your course of action. Bear in mind that being the best isn’t just about material wealth. You need to look at your life holistically.

For example, you might be offered the promotion you’ve been striving for but it means moving to another part of the country… and your child has just settled at the local school. In these circumstances, you might well decide to revise your goals towards being a better parent and spending more time with the family rather than having a high-flying career. 

6. Celebrate each win

Every challenge that you overcome brings you a step nearer to your goals. Rather than waiting until you have achieved your dream, reward yourself with a small celebration with each minor victory. Small treats like these will keep you on track and motivate you to fulfil your ambitions.

Add a mini-treat to each obstacle you listed the plan you came up with in #1 above and celebrate as you tick off each one in turn.

7. Think positively

When you face challenges, don't dwell on the negative aspects but find solutions that carry you forwards. Take pride in your skills and achievements in overcoming problems. ‘Most importantly, keep an open mind, be prepared to adapt your plans to meet changing circumstances, and never stop learning. 

Be determined and don't give up on your goals: while you might never be the very best, savour each achievement along the journey and enjoy living your best life.


Marie Pure

Other articles


Do you expect too much from others Find out!

Do you expect too much from others? Find out!

Most people are disappointed when others don't meet their expectations. But when you always expect too much, it isn't healthy, either for yourself or for others. If you often find yourself feeling let down by your loved ones or even by strangers, could it be that you have unrealistic ideas of how people should act?

Read the complete article

goede-voornemens

A new year, a new me

It’s such a positive thing to do and hope springs eternal, so why not commit yourself to a change this year? Here’s our tips on how to stick to your new year’s resolutions.

Read the complete article

How to be less judgemental of others (and yourself!)

How to be less judgemental of others (and yourself!)

Do you feel you’re always criticising and judging everyone, yourself included? Do you feel bad about it afterwards? You’re certainly not alone! Read on to discover how you can judge less and start to accept things the way they are.

Read the complete article

How to know when to say no

How to know when to say no

It's often difficult to say no, but some people never do! So how do you know when to say no and when to say yes?

Read the complete article

5 Signs of narcissistic perversion

5 Signs of narcissistic perversion

Narcissism is a term we often see these days. But what does it mean? It's used to describe a person who is full of themselves or overly vain. However, it's not really about self-love.

Read the complete article

Dealing with British Summer Time

Dealing with British Summer Time

Some people are overly sensitive to the time change and it can take days, if not weeks, for them to feel right again, while others barely even notice. 

Read the complete article

How to spice up your life

How to spice up your life

Do you feel you're always doing the same things and not getting anywhere? It's common to feel stuck in a rut, treading water and just going through the motions.

Read the complete article

What to do when the spark is fading

What to do when the spark is fading

Why do you feel butterflies at the start of a new romance, and how can you keep the flame burning in a long term relationship as the spark starts to fade?

Read the complete article

Do you 'Musturbate' too much

Do you 'Musturbate' too much?

Do you suffer from a disorder known as "musturbation"? This term was first coined in the 1950s by psychotherapist Albert Ellis and described the way a negative inner voice rules our minds and bludgeons us with words such as "must", "should", and "ought".

Read the complete article

verleden-loslaten

Letting go of the past: 5 tips

Lynn Anderson told it very nicely in her song “I beg your pardon; I never promised you a rose garden”. Life isn’t all roses and everybody experiences something they would rather not once in their life.

Read the complete article

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