When you think about things that will make you happy, what are the images that come to mind? Wealth, beauty, a dream house, long holidays, a top of the range car? Happiness is not a constant and how happy we feel depends on the way we choose to live our lives.
Many of us tend to look at the externals in our lives when we should really be thinking about the things that give us a purpose in life. It's better to work out who you really are and what makes you tick.
Once you understand the things that don't make us truly happy, you can start to focus your efforts on achieving the things that bring meaning to your life. If you're feeling dejected and can't motivate yourself to make changes, Bach flower mix 65 banishes gloomy thoughts and can help you to see your life as meaningful again. The first step is to identify the misconceptions about happiness. Here are just a few of the things that we think will make us happy - but don't!
A fancy house, a luxury car or a designer handbag: these might be fun, enjoyable possessions to own, they aren't going to make you happy. Concentrating on acquiring material possessions to validate yourself or to make yourself feel satisfied never works. It just dents your bank account and means you're always looking for the next new thing. If you want to treat yourself, spend your money on challenging or fun experiences, as trying new things has been shown to make you happier.
Money can make you happier, for sure, but only up to a certain point. It's challenging to be happy when you don't have enough money for food or a home of your own. But once you've acquired enough wealth for the basics in life, plus the occasional treat, the happiness that any further increase in your income can bring is likely to be shortlived.
Studies have shown if you win the lottery and suddenly find yourself a multi-millionaire, you will indeed be happier - but only for a year or so. Once the novelty wears off and you're accustomed to being rich, you start to see wealth as normal, and it makes no difference to how happy you feel. However rich you are, you might still compare yourself to others who are even wealthier, and this can cause unhappiness as you constantly strive to keep up with them.
Wanting to be a celebrity is a common ambition, but if you succeed in your aim, it's certainly not guaranteed to bring you happiness. Fame is often accompanied by a lack of privacy and increased levels of stress. Even a more localised level of fame, for example, within your particular industry, can lead to unhappiness. You might feel a constant pressure to live up to expectations, and this can be challenging. A better way of achieving happiness is to have confidence in your skills and abilities. Bach Flower Mix 44 can help you to overcome performance anxieties and master any self-doubt.
You might think you'd be happier with a very handsome partner, but dating a person with the looks of a Hollywood star is unlikely to bring you contentment. Most of us end up by instinctively selecting a partner with the same level of attractiveness as ourselves. This is something of a generalisation, but if you feel that your partner is better looking than you are, it will have an impact on your self-esteem and social confidence.
People often have rosy memories of happy days in their youth, but studies show that we feel more content as we reach our 50s, 60s, and even our 70s. With age comes self-confidence and older people tend to care less about what others think of them. Older people will also have encountered and survived any number of problems over the years, and this helps them to keep difficulties in perspective.
Holidays are good for our mental health but a longer holiday won't make you any happier than a shorter one. A one-week break is just as beneficial as a two-week holiday when the days tend to blur into one another. And psychologists know that people who have the most leisure time tend to be the unhappiest. They tend to slip into a rut because they have little structure to their days. Busy people who volunteer and help others report higher levels of happiness.
It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that you'd be happier if everything was perfect in your life. Some of these things might bring you a transient sense of joy, but try looking for happiness in more fulfilling ways that will last you a lifetime.
References:
https://scholar.harvard.edu/files/danielgilbert/files/if-money-doesnt-make-you-happy.nov-12-20101.pdf
https://www.oxfordhealth.nhs.uk/news/do-not-compare-your-inside-to-another-persons-outside/
https://www.sciencealert.com/the-older-we-get-the-happier-we-are-study-finds
Do you feel you’re always criticising and judging everyone, yourself included? Do you feel bad about it afterwards? You’re certainly not alone! Read on to discover how you can judge less and start to accept things the way they are.
Millions of people furloughed for months are now being recalled to work. Others, who have been working from home throughout the lockdown, are returning to the office. And some jobs have simply disappeared: many people are facing redundancy and will soon have to cope with job hunting. Going back to work after an unprecedented length of time at home is quite a challenge.
Some people are overly sensitive to the time change and it can take days, if not weeks, for them to feel right again, while others barely even notice.
Read the complete article
Children's imaginations know no limits and their dreams are a mix of hopes and fantasies, the real and the magical, the impossible and the achievable.
Sometimes it’s hard to notice when we've become trapped in familiar routines. Take our quiz to find out if you’re stuck in a rut and what you can do about it.
Read the complete article
Feeling blue? You're not alone! We all feel sad at times; it's a normal human emotion. Sometimes, it's clear to see what has triggered our depression. Common reasons for feeling sad include bereavement, the end of a relationship, losing your job or money problems. But it's not always so clearcut.
Narcissism is a term we often see these days. But what does it mean? It's used to describe a person who is full of themselves or overly vain. However, it's not really about self-love.
Can we learn from our mistakes and develop a stronger, healthier emotional bondwith our kids? To help you identify your weak spots, we’ve rounded up some of the most common mistakes parents make.
It's not always easy to tell if someone has depression. While some signs such as sadness, pessimism and withdrawal from social interaction are easy to recognise, other symptoms may be less obvious. And some people are very good at hiding their depression - even from themselves!
Do you always feel that everything’s always going wrong? Find out how to stop this cycle of bad thoughts in its tracks. When you think positively, things will start to appear positive and you will eventually feel more positive and optimistic.
Are you unsure which Bach flowers can help you? Contact Tom for free advice.
