Worried about your kids going back to school?

It’s perfectly natural for children to feel a little bit fed up about going back to school, but did you know that some parents also suffer with parental separation anxiety when the summer ends? This can vary from a mild to a moderate to a severe form of anxiety, and leads to parents feeling nervous, sad or depressed.

Why do parents suffer with separation anxiety?

You may wonder why some parents feel this separation anxiety when their children return to school, while others are just glad to have peace and tranquillity restored to their lives. Reasons vary of course, depending on the individuals concerned, but often parents are worried about a number of things:

• They worry that their child will not do well
• That their child will not be well-adjusted at school
• They will miss spending time with them
• They will miss part of their child’s development

What can you do to alleviate your feelings of anxiety?

If you would like to alleviate the feelings of anxiety you have when your child heads off to school, there are a number of things you can try.

1. Understand that separations are a part of life, and you’ll have plenty of them to face over the years. Think about things positively. Your child needs space away from you to learn and grow, and they need other people in their lives besides their parents, so it’s important to let them develop other relationships away from you.
   
   
2. Occupy yourself. Make sure you’re busy. Now could be a good time to sort out bedrooms or other areas of the house, or throw yourself into your own work, or arrange a few trips out with friends. Find ways to spend your time that don’t involve moping about your child.
   
   
3. Talk to other parents. You may find some other parents feel the same way you do, and they’ll be happy to join in some activities if you plan them.
   
   
4. Try not to pass on your misgivings to your child. When you leave him or her, be very matter of fact about it. Say your goodbyes and leave without turning back. Don’t become emotional as this will upset your child, and they may learn this sort of behaviour from you.
   
   
5. Do all the things you personally wanted to do over the summer but didn’t have the time to do because you had your child with you. Get your hair done, enjoy longer walks, go to the swimming baths, clean the oven, read a book! Enjoy some me time with your significant other. The opportunities are endless.
   
   
6. Don’t feel guilty if you enjoy yourself while your child is at school. You have a right to some good times too. The more of a life you have, the more confident and happy you will be, and that will be passed onto your child.
   
   
7. Don’t worry that you will miss key moments in your child’s life. Sometimes, your child is better off with other people when they are learning new skills. Some skills you cannot teach your child yourself and they are better placed with experts. Think of all the times you achieved something without your parents there. You probably raced back to them afterwards and told them. Don’t deny your child that moment of happiness and pride.
   
   
8. Remember – you are the adult. Your child is not abandoning you. You, as her parent, are letting her have the freedom she needs to grow and develop normally. There should be no guilt involved, and as far as possible you want to prevent her from growing up to have your separation anxiety. Parental separation anxiety often transfers to children and contributes to their anxiety, so don’t contribute to a cycle of anxiety and guilt.
   
   
9. Be really enthusiastic and upbeat about what your child is up to, and ask them to tell you all about it when they get home. Be wholly optimistic and supportive of what they’re doing.
   
   
10. Plan good things for when they are at home – in the evenings and at the weekends, and don’t fret. Christmas is really not that far away.

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