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Most people are disappointed when others don't meet their expectations. But when you always expect too much, it isn't healthy, either for yourself or for others. If you often find yourself feeling let down by your loved ones or even by strangers, could it be that you have unrealistic ideas of how people should act?
Do you expect too much from other people, or is it rather that they're neglectful? Are you too needy or clingy? Could it be that you're too keen to jump in and help, to the extent that you often get overly involved? Take the quiz below to find out!
1. I'm looking for love.
a) Not necessarily
b) Agree slightly
c) Agree strongly
2. When I'm talking to my partner or my friends, I repeatedly mention how important I feel our relationship is.
a) Disagree
b) Agree slightly
c) Agree
3. I'm hypersensitive to criticism.
a) Rarely or never
b) Sometimes
c) Always
4. Secretly, I enjoy it when other people have problems because it gives me a reason to help them.
a) Disagree
b) Agree slightly
c) Agree
5. I get satisfaction by helping other people without needing anything in return.
a) True
b) Partly true
c) False
6. I need to be reassured of other people's loyalty and love.
a) Rarely or never
b) Often
c) Always
7. I regard people I've only just met as good friends straight away.
a) Rarely or never
b) Sometimes
c) Always
8. I feel jealous when my partner spends time with their friends.
a) Disagree
b) Agree slightly
c) Agree strongly
9. I love being needed.
a) False
b) Somewhat true
c) True
10. I'm often accused of meddling in other people's affairs.
a) Rarely or never
b) Sometimes
c) Often
11. I feel other people should make me a priority in their lives.
a) False
b) Somewhat true
c) True
You give your love unconditionally, and you aren't afraid to help or love others without it being reciprocated. Sharing your time, attention, and assistance never feels like a burden to you: you don't use love to control other people by making them feel they owe you something. They can respond or not, as they choose. This is true in your romantic and family relationships as well as at work.
You know that relationships can change and develop and that sometimes they won't last. But you don't try to force things but just let them go. You can focus on your own needs without being self-centred; you don't depend on receiving love and attention from other people to be happy.
Most of us come into this category. While you aren't clingy or needy, you probably recognise some of the tendencies outlined in the following category. The first step towards better relationships is to acknowledge that you have some issues and work to resolve them.
People who expect too much from others fall into a behaviour pattern that you may not have acknowledged in yourself. If you are in this category, you probably tend to "collect" people who become more and more dependent on you. But they then feel they owe you something in return, and most people don't like feeling indebted.
You feel caring and helpful and probably spend a great deal of time doing stuff for other people and trying to solve their problems. You might think you're making a sacrifice when you share your time/money/love with them. But you aren't really giving anything away for free because you expect to get something in return. People will quickly get a sense that something isn't quite right and may start to feel trapped.
When you change your patterns of thinking and expect less from others, you'll find that your relationships are better balanced and truly fulfilling.
Concentrate on boosting your confidence and self-esteem. Bach Flower Mix 63 can help you cope with negative thoughts as well as reducing anxiety and increasing self-confidence. Stop doing so much for other people, things that they should manage for themselves: this is just over-compensation for your imagined faults. And if this triggers someone to move on, learn to let them go.
Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-intelligent-divorce/201208/who-wants-be-needy-six-solutions
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/319873
Created by Tom Vermeersch
Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.
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Most people are disappointed when others don't meet their expectations. But when you always expect too much, it isn't healthy, either for yourself or for others. If you often find yourself feeling let down by your loved ones or even by strangers, could it be that you have unrealistic ideas of how people should act?
Do you expect too much from other people, or is it rather that they're neglectful? Are you too needy or clingy? Could it be that you're too keen to jump in and help, to the extent that you often get overly involved? Take the quiz below to find out!
1. I'm looking for love.
a) Not necessarily
b) Agree slightly
c) Agree strongly
2. When I'm talking to my partner or my friends, I repeatedly mention how important I feel our relationship is.
a) Disagree
b) Agree slightly
c) Agree
3. I'm hypersensitive to criticism.
a) Rarely or never
b) Sometimes
c) Always
4. Secretly, I enjoy it when other people have problems because it gives me a reason to help them.
a) Disagree
b) Agree slightly
c) Agree
5. I get satisfaction by helping other people without needing anything in return.
a) True
b) Partly true
c) False
6. I need to be reassured of other people's loyalty and love.
a) Rarely or never
b) Often
c) Always
7. I regard people I've only just met as good friends straight away.
a) Rarely or never
b) Sometimes
c) Always
8. I feel jealous when my partner spends time with their friends.
a) Disagree
b) Agree slightly
c) Agree strongly
9. I love being needed.
a) False
b) Somewhat true
c) True
10. I'm often accused of meddling in other people's affairs.
a) Rarely or never
b) Sometimes
c) Often
11. I feel other people should make me a priority in their lives.
a) False
b) Somewhat true
c) True
You give your love unconditionally, and you aren't afraid to help or love others without it being reciprocated. Sharing your time, attention, and assistance never feels like a burden to you: you don't use love to control other people by making them feel they owe you something. They can respond or not, as they choose. This is true in your romantic and family relationships as well as at work.
You know that relationships can change and develop and that sometimes they won't last. But you don't try to force things but just let them go. You can focus on your own needs without being self-centred; you don't depend on receiving love and attention from other people to be happy.
Most of us come into this category. While you aren't clingy or needy, you probably recognise some of the tendencies outlined in the following category. The first step towards better relationships is to acknowledge that you have some issues and work to resolve them.
People who expect too much from others fall into a behaviour pattern that you may not have acknowledged in yourself. If you are in this category, you probably tend to "collect" people who become more and more dependent on you. But they then feel they owe you something in return, and most people don't like feeling indebted.
You feel caring and helpful and probably spend a great deal of time doing stuff for other people and trying to solve their problems. You might think you're making a sacrifice when you share your time/money/love with them. But you aren't really giving anything away for free because you expect to get something in return. People will quickly get a sense that something isn't quite right and may start to feel trapped.
When you change your patterns of thinking and expect less from others, you'll find that your relationships are better balanced and truly fulfilling.
Concentrate on boosting your confidence and self-esteem. Bach Flower Mix 63 can help you cope with negative thoughts as well as reducing anxiety and increasing self-confidence. Stop doing so much for other people, things that they should manage for themselves: this is just over-compensation for your imagined faults. And if this triggers someone to move on, learn to let them go.
Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-intelligent-divorce/201208/who-wants-be-needy-six-solutions
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/319873
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Facing the loss of a family member or close friend is probably one of the most difficult challenges that life throws at us. When we've lost a partner, parent, brother or sister, we're likely to experience intense grief.
If you're worried that the world is changing too fast, you're not alone: technology is constantly developing, and it can be challenging to keep up with all the changes. As a result, many people - not just the older generations - feel anxious that they might get left behind.
People spend so much of their time regretting the past and worrying about the future. But it’s not worth it! Even what happened yesterday doesn't matter anymore! Let go of the past and the future and make the most of every moment.
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Read the complete article
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When we’re stuck in a bit of a rut, the days and nights slip past so quickly that we barely notice them. But life is not a rehearsal!
Sometimes it’s hard to notice when we've become trapped in familiar routines. Take our quiz to find out if you’re stuck in a rut and what you can do about it.
Read the complete articleBach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.
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