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Most people are disappointed when others don't meet their expectations. But when you always expect too much, it isn't healthy, either for yourself or for others. If you often find yourself feeling let down by your loved ones or even by strangers, could it be that you have unrealistic ideas of how people should act?
Do you expect too much from other people, or is it rather that they're neglectful? Are you too needy or clingy? Could it be that you're too keen to jump in and help, to the extent that you often get overly involved? Take the quiz below to find out!
1. I'm looking for love.
a) Not necessarily
b) Agree slightly
c) Agree strongly
2. When I'm talking to my partner or my friends, I repeatedly mention how important I feel our relationship is.
a) Disagree
b) Agree slightly
c) Agree
3. I'm hypersensitive to criticism.
a) Rarely or never
b) Sometimes
c) Always
4. Secretly, I enjoy it when other people have problems because it gives me a reason to help them.
a) Disagree
b) Agree slightly
c) Agree
5. I get satisfaction by helping other people without needing anything in return.
a) True
b) Partly true
c) False
6. I need to be reassured of other people's loyalty and love.
a) Rarely or never
b) Often
c) Always
7. I regard people I've only just met as good friends straight away.
a) Rarely or never
b) Sometimes
c) Always
8. I feel jealous when my partner spends time with their friends.
a) Disagree
b) Agree slightly
c) Agree strongly
9. I love being needed.
a) False
b) Somewhat true
c) True
10. I'm often accused of meddling in other people's affairs.
a) Rarely or never
b) Sometimes
c) Often
11. I feel other people should make me a priority in their lives.
a) False
b) Somewhat true
c) True
You give your love unconditionally, and you aren't afraid to help or love others without it being reciprocated. Sharing your time, attention, and assistance never feels like a burden to you: you don't use love to control other people by making them feel they owe you something. They can respond or not, as they choose. This is true in your romantic and family relationships as well as at work.
You know that relationships can change and develop and that sometimes they won't last. But you don't try to force things but just let them go. You can focus on your own needs without being self-centred; you don't depend on receiving love and attention from other people to be happy.
Most of us come into this category. While you aren't clingy or needy, you probably recognise some of the tendencies outlined in the following category. The first step towards better relationships is to acknowledge that you have some issues and work to resolve them.
People who expect too much from others fall into a behaviour pattern that you may not have acknowledged in yourself. If you are in this category, you probably tend to "collect" people who become more and more dependent on you. But they then feel they owe you something in return, and most people don't like feeling indebted.
You feel caring and helpful and probably spend a great deal of time doing stuff for other people and trying to solve their problems. You might think you're making a sacrifice when you share your time/money/love with them. But you aren't really giving anything away for free because you expect to get something in return. People will quickly get a sense that something isn't quite right and may start to feel trapped.
When you change your patterns of thinking and expect less from others, you'll find that your relationships are better balanced and truly fulfilling.
Concentrate on boosting your confidence and self-esteem. Bach Flower Mix 63 can help you cope with negative thoughts as well as reducing anxiety and increasing self-confidence. Stop doing so much for other people, things that they should manage for themselves: this is just over-compensation for your imagined faults. And if this triggers someone to move on, learn to let them go.
Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-intelligent-divorce/201208/who-wants-be-needy-six-solutions
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/319873
Created by Tom Vermeersch
Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.
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Most people are disappointed when others don't meet their expectations. But when you always expect too much, it isn't healthy, either for yourself or for others. If you often find yourself feeling let down by your loved ones or even by strangers, could it be that you have unrealistic ideas of how people should act?
Do you expect too much from other people, or is it rather that they're neglectful? Are you too needy or clingy? Could it be that you're too keen to jump in and help, to the extent that you often get overly involved? Take the quiz below to find out!
1. I'm looking for love.
a) Not necessarily
b) Agree slightly
c) Agree strongly
2. When I'm talking to my partner or my friends, I repeatedly mention how important I feel our relationship is.
a) Disagree
b) Agree slightly
c) Agree
3. I'm hypersensitive to criticism.
a) Rarely or never
b) Sometimes
c) Always
4. Secretly, I enjoy it when other people have problems because it gives me a reason to help them.
a) Disagree
b) Agree slightly
c) Agree
5. I get satisfaction by helping other people without needing anything in return.
a) True
b) Partly true
c) False
6. I need to be reassured of other people's loyalty and love.
a) Rarely or never
b) Often
c) Always
7. I regard people I've only just met as good friends straight away.
a) Rarely or never
b) Sometimes
c) Always
8. I feel jealous when my partner spends time with their friends.
a) Disagree
b) Agree slightly
c) Agree strongly
9. I love being needed.
a) False
b) Somewhat true
c) True
10. I'm often accused of meddling in other people's affairs.
a) Rarely or never
b) Sometimes
c) Often
11. I feel other people should make me a priority in their lives.
a) False
b) Somewhat true
c) True
You give your love unconditionally, and you aren't afraid to help or love others without it being reciprocated. Sharing your time, attention, and assistance never feels like a burden to you: you don't use love to control other people by making them feel they owe you something. They can respond or not, as they choose. This is true in your romantic and family relationships as well as at work.
You know that relationships can change and develop and that sometimes they won't last. But you don't try to force things but just let them go. You can focus on your own needs without being self-centred; you don't depend on receiving love and attention from other people to be happy.
Most of us come into this category. While you aren't clingy or needy, you probably recognise some of the tendencies outlined in the following category. The first step towards better relationships is to acknowledge that you have some issues and work to resolve them.
People who expect too much from others fall into a behaviour pattern that you may not have acknowledged in yourself. If you are in this category, you probably tend to "collect" people who become more and more dependent on you. But they then feel they owe you something in return, and most people don't like feeling indebted.
You feel caring and helpful and probably spend a great deal of time doing stuff for other people and trying to solve their problems. You might think you're making a sacrifice when you share your time/money/love with them. But you aren't really giving anything away for free because you expect to get something in return. People will quickly get a sense that something isn't quite right and may start to feel trapped.
When you change your patterns of thinking and expect less from others, you'll find that your relationships are better balanced and truly fulfilling.
Concentrate on boosting your confidence and self-esteem. Bach Flower Mix 63 can help you cope with negative thoughts as well as reducing anxiety and increasing self-confidence. Stop doing so much for other people, things that they should manage for themselves: this is just over-compensation for your imagined faults. And if this triggers someone to move on, learn to let them go.
Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-intelligent-divorce/201208/who-wants-be-needy-six-solutions
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/319873
Why do you feel butterflies at the start of a new romance, and how can you keep the flame burning in a long term relationship as the spark starts to fade?
Read the complete article
It is not always obvious when someone is experiencing depression. Some people with depression mask their symptoms, hiding their feelings behind a smile to convince others they are happy.
Motivation can be somewhat elusive - some days, you just can't seem to make yourself do the stuff you don't want to. But putting things off just leads to stress, frustration and a sense of guilt.
Can we learn from our mistakes and develop a stronger, healthier emotional bondwith our kids? To help you identify your weak spots, we’ve rounded up some of the most common mistakes parents make.
Bad habits waste your energy and time. They disrupt your life, risk your health and stop you from achieving your aims. So why do we do them? And what can we do to break our bad habits?
Do you feel you’re always criticising and judging everyone, yourself included? Do you feel bad about it afterwards? You’re certainly not alone! Read on to discover how you can judge less and start to accept things the way they are.
Sexual desire is a complex interaction of hormones, emotions and well-being. When your partner is not as interested in sex as you are, it’s rarely a rejection of you as a person. So it’s essential to be as empathetic as you can regarding your differing libidos.
Going back to school during a pandemic is a new experience for everyone, and it's understandable if children are feeling anxious about it. We take a look at some of the issues and how you can help your child to get ready for returning to the classroom.
It's not always easy to tell if someone has depression. While some signs such as sadness, pessimism and withdrawal from social interaction are easy to recognise, other symptoms may be less obvious. And some people are very good at hiding their depression - even from themselves!
It's often difficult to say no, but some people never do! So how do you know when to say no and when to say yes?
Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.
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