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Most people are disappointed when others don't meet their expectations. But when you always expect too much, it isn't healthy, either for yourself or for others. If you often find yourself feeling let down by your loved ones or even by strangers, could it be that you have unrealistic ideas of how people should act?
Do you expect too much from other people, or is it rather that they're neglectful? Are you too needy or clingy? Could it be that you're too keen to jump in and help, to the extent that you often get overly involved? Take the quiz below to find out!
1. I'm looking for love.
a) Not necessarily
b) Agree slightly
c) Agree strongly
2. When I'm talking to my partner or my friends, I repeatedly mention how important I feel our relationship is.
a) Disagree
b) Agree slightly
c) Agree
3. I'm hypersensitive to criticism.
a) Rarely or never
b) Sometimes
c) Always
4. Secretly, I enjoy it when other people have problems because it gives me a reason to help them.
a) Disagree
b) Agree slightly
c) Agree
5. I get satisfaction by helping other people without needing anything in return.
a) True
b) Partly true
c) False
6. I need to be reassured of other people's loyalty and love.
a) Rarely or never
b) Often
c) Always
7. I regard people I've only just met as good friends straight away.
a) Rarely or never
b) Sometimes
c) Always
8. I feel jealous when my partner spends time with their friends.
a) Disagree
b) Agree slightly
c) Agree strongly
9. I love being needed.
a) False
b) Somewhat true
c) True
10. I'm often accused of meddling in other people's affairs.
a) Rarely or never
b) Sometimes
c) Often
11. I feel other people should make me a priority in their lives.
a) False
b) Somewhat true
c) True
You give your love unconditionally, and you aren't afraid to help or love others without it being reciprocated. Sharing your time, attention, and assistance never feels like a burden to you: you don't use love to control other people by making them feel they owe you something. They can respond or not, as they choose. This is true in your romantic and family relationships as well as at work.
You know that relationships can change and develop and that sometimes they won't last. But you don't try to force things but just let them go. You can focus on your own needs without being self-centred; you don't depend on receiving love and attention from other people to be happy.
Most of us come into this category. While you aren't clingy or needy, you probably recognise some of the tendencies outlined in the following category. The first step towards better relationships is to acknowledge that you have some issues and work to resolve them.
People who expect too much from others fall into a behaviour pattern that you may not have acknowledged in yourself. If you are in this category, you probably tend to "collect" people who become more and more dependent on you. But they then feel they owe you something in return, and most people don't like feeling indebted.
You feel caring and helpful and probably spend a great deal of time doing stuff for other people and trying to solve their problems. You might think you're making a sacrifice when you share your time/money/love with them. But you aren't really giving anything away for free because you expect to get something in return. People will quickly get a sense that something isn't quite right and may start to feel trapped.
When you change your patterns of thinking and expect less from others, you'll find that your relationships are better balanced and truly fulfilling.
Concentrate on boosting your confidence and self-esteem. Bach Flower Mix 63 can help you cope with negative thoughts as well as reducing anxiety and increasing self-confidence. Stop doing so much for other people, things that they should manage for themselves: this is just over-compensation for your imagined faults. And if this triggers someone to move on, learn to let them go.
Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-intelligent-divorce/201208/who-wants-be-needy-six-solutions
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/319873
Created by Tom Vermeersch
Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.
Nowadays, it can sometimes seem almost everyone has a mental health issue or learning disorder. But, are we too quick to label people, or is it that we are more aware of the problems? This article looks at some of the issues surrounding these sensitive questions.
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Most people are disappointed when others don't meet their expectations. But when you always expect too much, it isn't healthy, either for yourself or for others. If you often find yourself feeling let down by your loved ones or even by strangers, could it be that you have unrealistic ideas of how people should act?
Do you expect too much from other people, or is it rather that they're neglectful? Are you too needy or clingy? Could it be that you're too keen to jump in and help, to the extent that you often get overly involved? Take the quiz below to find out!
1. I'm looking for love.
a) Not necessarily
b) Agree slightly
c) Agree strongly
2. When I'm talking to my partner or my friends, I repeatedly mention how important I feel our relationship is.
a) Disagree
b) Agree slightly
c) Agree
3. I'm hypersensitive to criticism.
a) Rarely or never
b) Sometimes
c) Always
4. Secretly, I enjoy it when other people have problems because it gives me a reason to help them.
a) Disagree
b) Agree slightly
c) Agree
5. I get satisfaction by helping other people without needing anything in return.
a) True
b) Partly true
c) False
6. I need to be reassured of other people's loyalty and love.
a) Rarely or never
b) Often
c) Always
7. I regard people I've only just met as good friends straight away.
a) Rarely or never
b) Sometimes
c) Always
8. I feel jealous when my partner spends time with their friends.
a) Disagree
b) Agree slightly
c) Agree strongly
9. I love being needed.
a) False
b) Somewhat true
c) True
10. I'm often accused of meddling in other people's affairs.
a) Rarely or never
b) Sometimes
c) Often
11. I feel other people should make me a priority in their lives.
a) False
b) Somewhat true
c) True
You give your love unconditionally, and you aren't afraid to help or love others without it being reciprocated. Sharing your time, attention, and assistance never feels like a burden to you: you don't use love to control other people by making them feel they owe you something. They can respond or not, as they choose. This is true in your romantic and family relationships as well as at work.
You know that relationships can change and develop and that sometimes they won't last. But you don't try to force things but just let them go. You can focus on your own needs without being self-centred; you don't depend on receiving love and attention from other people to be happy.
Most of us come into this category. While you aren't clingy or needy, you probably recognise some of the tendencies outlined in the following category. The first step towards better relationships is to acknowledge that you have some issues and work to resolve them.
People who expect too much from others fall into a behaviour pattern that you may not have acknowledged in yourself. If you are in this category, you probably tend to "collect" people who become more and more dependent on you. But they then feel they owe you something in return, and most people don't like feeling indebted.
You feel caring and helpful and probably spend a great deal of time doing stuff for other people and trying to solve their problems. You might think you're making a sacrifice when you share your time/money/love with them. But you aren't really giving anything away for free because you expect to get something in return. People will quickly get a sense that something isn't quite right and may start to feel trapped.
When you change your patterns of thinking and expect less from others, you'll find that your relationships are better balanced and truly fulfilling.
Concentrate on boosting your confidence and self-esteem. Bach Flower Mix 63 can help you cope with negative thoughts as well as reducing anxiety and increasing self-confidence. Stop doing so much for other people, things that they should manage for themselves: this is just over-compensation for your imagined faults. And if this triggers someone to move on, learn to let them go.
Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-intelligent-divorce/201208/who-wants-be-needy-six-solutions
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/319873
Nowadays, it can sometimes seem almost everyone has a mental health issue or learning disorder. But, are we too quick to label people, or is it that we are more aware of the problems? This article looks at some of the issues surrounding these sensitive questions.
Going back to school during a pandemic is a new experience for everyone, and it's understandable if children are feeling anxious about it. We take a look at some of the issues and how you can help your child to get ready for returning to the classroom.
While you often hear people joking that they have OCD because they like to keep their house clean and tidy, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder can be a distressing and debilitating mental health condition with a wide range of symptoms.
It's not always easy to tell if someone has depression. While some signs such as sadness, pessimism and withdrawal from social interaction are easy to recognise, other symptoms may be less obvious. And some people are very good at hiding their depression - even from themselves!
Bad habits waste your energy and time. They disrupt your life, risk your health and stop you from achieving your aims. So why do we do them? And what can we do to break our bad habits?
Your relationship ends, or you lose your job, and you get stuck in a rut of negative thoughts and suffering. How good are you at letting go of grudges and accepting that some things are beyond your control? Take our quiz to find out!
Read the complete article
Have you ever noticed that some people are instantly likeable? Many people believe that people will only like you because of natural traits you're born with: good looks, talent and sociability. But this is a misconception. Getting people to like you is within your control, and it's all to do with self-belief, knowing yourself and being emotionally intelligent. Here's what to do to be more likeable.
Feeling blue? You're not alone! We all feel sad at times; it's a normal human emotion. Sometimes, it's clear to see what has triggered our depression. Common reasons for feeling sad include bereavement, the end of a relationship, losing your job or money problems. But it's not always so clearcut.
What are your aims in life? Do you plan to be rich, to be a top footballer, to be a good parent, or to become Prime Minister? However efficiently you plan your life, sooner or later you are going to come up against obstacles to achieving your goals.
It's often difficult to say no, but some people never do! So how do you know when to say no and when to say yes?
Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.
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