Bach Flower Advice

Letting go of the past: 5 tips

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Lynn Anderson told it very nicely in her song “I beg your pardon; I never promised you a rose garden”. Life isn’t all roses and everybody experiences something they would rather not once in their life.

Typically, we’ll all need a bit of time to process things after a negative experience. But we go on again after a bit of time. Sometimes negative experiences of the past can put on such a weight that it can cause a burden many years later. In such a case, we can speak of “not being able to let go of the past”. Nevertheless, life with nasty things from the past can make a heavy impact; and not only on our mood but also our general wellbeing.

How do you let go of the past?

  1. To be able to let go of the past, you have to know for yourself that there are some memories you’d rather not have. Don’t try to evade these memories. To be able to let go of them, you firstly need to accept them.
     
  2. The seconds step connects with the first step. You have nasty memories that make your life miserable. But these memories are over and are not in the present. In others words, these memories exist, but you can ban the emotions that went with them.
     
  3. Don’t think too quickly that step 2 worked for you. We like to deceive ourselves in thinking we master our emotions. Because of this faulty thinking, resentment of what went on in the past only grows.
     
  4. Don’t be afraid of the truth. It’s a great relief if you can tell the truth about the past. Okay, this may be hurtful; but hiding the truth hurts you. That’s why you have to try and calmly accept the truth without too many emotions.
     
  5. Directly related to step 4, you should know that there should be no artificial sympathy between the person or people you’re having a problem with. Let them know what they’ve done wrong.

So it all comes down to letting people know in an open, honest and preferably calm way what’s bothering you. Only when the past lessons are wiped out from the blackboard can you write a new future.
A handy and healthy tool for letting go of your emotions is the use of Bach flower remedies. These are natural products, which have no side effects at all. Consulting an experienced Bach flower therapist will allow you to get a custom made mix that will deal with all your problems and will allow you to let go of the past.

Created by Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.

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Letting go of the past: 5 tips

Letting go of the past: 5 tips
verleden-loslaten

Lynn Anderson told it very nicely in her song “I beg your pardon; I never promised you a rose garden”. Life isn’t all roses and everybody experiences something they would rather not once in their life.

Typically, we’ll all need a bit of time to process things after a negative experience. But we go on again after a bit of time. Sometimes negative experiences of the past can put on such a weight that it can cause a burden many years later. In such a case, we can speak of “not being able to let go of the past”. Nevertheless, life with nasty things from the past can make a heavy impact; and not only on our mood but also our general wellbeing.

How do you let go of the past?

  1. To be able to let go of the past, you have to know for yourself that there are some memories you’d rather not have. Don’t try to evade these memories. To be able to let go of them, you firstly need to accept them.
     
  2. The seconds step connects with the first step. You have nasty memories that make your life miserable. But these memories are over and are not in the present. In others words, these memories exist, but you can ban the emotions that went with them.
     
  3. Don’t think too quickly that step 2 worked for you. We like to deceive ourselves in thinking we master our emotions. Because of this faulty thinking, resentment of what went on in the past only grows.
     
  4. Don’t be afraid of the truth. It’s a great relief if you can tell the truth about the past. Okay, this may be hurtful; but hiding the truth hurts you. That’s why you have to try and calmly accept the truth without too many emotions.
     
  5. Directly related to step 4, you should know that there should be no artificial sympathy between the person or people you’re having a problem with. Let them know what they’ve done wrong.

So it all comes down to letting people know in an open, honest and preferably calm way what’s bothering you. Only when the past lessons are wiped out from the blackboard can you write a new future.
A handy and healthy tool for letting go of your emotions is the use of Bach flower remedies. These are natural products, which have no side effects at all. Consulting an experienced Bach flower therapist will allow you to get a custom made mix that will deal with all your problems and will allow you to let go of the past.


Marie Pure

Other articles


Is your sex life putting your relationship at risk

Is your sex life putting your relationship at risk?

Sexual desire is a complex interaction of hormones, emotions and well-being. When your partner is not as interested in sex as you are, it’s rarely a rejection of you as a person. So it’s essential to be as empathetic as you can regarding your differing libidos.

Read the complete article

7 Reasons Why Your Child is Underperforming

7 Reasons Why Your Child is Underperforming

As parents, we often worry about a poor school report as much, if not more, as our kids do! And if your child's grades are slipping, you'll be looking for reasons and if there's anything you can do to help.

Read the complete article

How to know when to say no

How to know when to say no

It's often difficult to say no, but some people never do! So how do you know when to say no and when to say yes?

Read the complete article

10 Tips to get the best out of every day

10 Tips to get the best out of every day

When we’re stuck in a bit of a rut, the days and nights slip past so quickly that we barely notice them. But life is not a rehearsal!

Read the complete article

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Sometimes it’s hard to notice when we've become trapped in familiar routines. Take our quiz to find out if you’re stuck in a rut and what you can do about it.

Read the complete article

5 Signs of narcissistic perversion

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Narcissism is a term we often see these days. But what does it mean? It's used to describe a person who is full of themselves or overly vain. However, it's not really about self-love.

Read the complete article

Do you expect too much from others

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Do you expect more from others than they are prepared to give? Signs that you may be asking too much - and how to break the pattern.

Read the complete article

Standing Up To A Narcissistic Pervert

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Whether it's with a romantic partner or a housemate, there's no doubt that a relationship with a narcissist can be very challenging. But are there ways to cope better? Or is it better to leave the relationship? 

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Feel like everyone takes you for granted? Whether it's working late to prepare a presentation or cooking a special birthday meal for your partner, it's nice to be appreciated when you've made an extra effort. And if it seems as if people don't notice, you might feel as if no one values you.

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