Letting go of the past: 5 tips
Lynn Anderson told it very nicely in her song “I beg your pardon; I never promised you a rose garden”. Life isn’t all roses and everybody experiences something they would rather not once in their life.
Typically, we’ll all need a bit of time to process things after a negative experience. But we go on again after a bit of time. Sometimes negative experiences of the past can put on such a weight that it can cause a burden many years later. In such a case, we can speak of “not being able to let go of the past”. Nevertheless, life with nasty things from the past can make a heavy impact; and not only on our mood but also our general wellbeing.
How do you let go of the past?
- To be able to let go of the past, you have to know for yourself that there are some memories you’d rather not have. Don’t try to evade these memories. To be able to let go of them, you firstly need to accept them.
- The seconds step connects with the first step. You have nasty memories that make your life miserable. But these memories are over and are not in the present. In others words, these memories exist, but you can ban the emotions that went with them.
- Don’t think too quickly that step 2 worked for you. We like to deceive ourselves in thinking we master our emotions. Because of this faulty thinking, resentment of what went on in the past only grows.
- Don’t be afraid of the truth. It’s a great relief if you can tell the truth about the past. Okay, this may be hurtful; but hiding the truth hurts you. That’s why you have to try and calmly accept the truth without too many emotions.
- Directly related to step 4, you should know that there should be no artificial sympathy between the person or people you’re having a problem with. Let them know what they’ve done wrong.
So it all comes down to letting people know in an open, honest and preferably calm way what’s bothering you. Only when the past lessons are wiped out from the blackboard can you write a new future.
A handy and healthy tool for letting go of your emotions is the use of Bach flower remedies. These are natural products, which have no side effects at all. Consulting an experienced Bach flower therapist will allow you to get a custom made mix that will deal with all your problems and will allow you to let go of the past.
Created by Tom Vermeersch
Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.
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