Are you codependant? Take the quiz!

Are you codependant? Take the quiz!
Are you codependant Take the quiz!

Do you ever wonder if your care and kindness towards other people are just you being helpful to the people you love, or whether your relationship might actually be codependent? Take our quiz to find out!

What is codependency?

The best way to think of codependency is as a supportive relationship that's become so intense that it's unhealthy. The term codependent is often used in counselling for substance abuse, but it's also applied when describing other relationships.

There's a fine line between the natural human instinct to care for others and a relationship that has become codependent. A codependent relationship is not truly fulfilling for either partner. Because it leaves you with no time or space for yourself, codependency will eventually damage your self-esteem and leave you emotionally exhausted.

Bach flowers personal mix

Bach flowers personal mix:

  • Personal combination
  • Based on your symptoms and character
  • Bach flower remedy personally selected by Tom
  • Fast and good results
Discover how Personal Bach flowers remedy - Wizard can help you

Take our codependency quiz

Answer Yes or No to the following questions to see whether you're codependent.

  • Do you tend to let others get close to you quickly and then often feel used and hurt by them?
  • Do you usually say yes to every request, even when you don't really want to do something?
  • Do you feel insecure and doubt yourself, even when you are an expert in the area?
  • Do you invest too much energy and time in the needs of others while ignoring your own needs?
  • Do you find it difficult to recognise your thoughts and feelings?
  • When there's a conflict in your relationship, are your emotional reactions very intense?
  • Do you sometimes find that you distance yourself from others as a protective response?
  • Do you get a sense of personal value from how others view you?
  • Do you brood and overanalyse mistakes you might have made in previous relationships?
  • Do you find it hard to define your own needs?
  • Have you sometimes been described as being "needy" in your relationships?
  • Do you sometimes feel that your relationship isn't balanced and that you're always the one who has to compromise or make sacrifices?
  • Do you always try to fix other people?
  • Do you think everything in your life would be fine if only a particular person could change?
  • Do you feel such a compelling need for love and affirmation that it can cause relationship problems?
  • Do you try to get your needs met with passive-aggressive tactics?
  • Can you take constructive feedback, or are you overwhelmed with guilt or shame when someone criticises something you've done?
  • Do you find it difficult to trust other people?
  • Do you experience outbursts of irritability or intense anger?
  • Do you have an ambivalent attitude to intimacy, pushing people away even while wanting to be closer?
  • Do you feel compelled to make sure that everyone else is happy, even if you might be feeling dejected?

How many questions did you answer with "Yes?" A score of five or more may indicate that you are tending towards codependency. But once you've identified that there may be a problem, you can take the first steps towards a happier life.

Learn to value yourself

Codependency is often linked to low self-esteem. If your self-belief is linked to the extent to which you care for others, it can be challenging to learn to value yourself in a way that doesn't depend on your personal relationships.

But valuing yourself more will boost your happiness, self-esteem and confidence. You will then find it easier to set boundaries and express your needs, two keys to escaping codependency.

Increasing your sense of self-worth will take time. These tips will help get you started:

  • It can be challenging to make the decision to leave a codependent relationship. As a first step, limit the time you spend with people who make you feel bad about yourself. Some people drain you of energy. Try surrounding yourself with people who can support you and appreciate and value you for who you are.
  • Make time to do the stuff you enjoy. You might have spent so much time caring for others that you've not been able to follow your interests or hobbies. Make some space every day to do the stuff that interests you and makes you happy, even if it's just going for a walk, reading a book or watching a movie.
  • Look after your physical health. Everyone has basic needs that must be met before they can fulfil their potential. When you get the essentials right by eating healthily, exercising and getting adequate sleep, your emotional health will improve as well.
  • Stop listening to your negative inner critic. Reframe and challenge negative thoughts in a way that affirms your self-worth. Instead of saying" I'm a failure", tell yourself that you're doing the best you can. Bach Flower Mix 78 for separation anxiety can help overcome codependency. It contains Bach flower essences that help conquer fears of being abandoned, avoid panic attacks and boost self-belief. When you've learned to value yourself again, you can start moving forward, making decisions, and living a happy, fulfilling life.


Marie Pure

Other articles

Choose for your happiness

Choose for your happiness!

Being happy is something everybody strives for, but unfortunately there are a lot of people who go through life unhappily. A lot of people take life how it is.

Read the complete article

Can you accept things you can't change Take our quiz!

Can you accept things you can't change? Take our quiz!

Your relationship ends, or you lose your job, and you get stuck in a rut of negative thoughts and suffering. How good are you at letting go of grudges and accepting that some things are beyond your control? Take our quiz to find out!

Read the complete article

Stop worrying and live in the moment

Stop worrying and live in the moment

People spend so much of their time regretting the past and worrying about the future. But it’s not worth it! Even what happened yesterday doesn't matter anymore! Let go of the past and the future and make the most of every moment.

Read the complete article

How to break your bad habits

How to break your bad habits

Bad habits waste your energy and time. They disrupt your life, risk your health and stop you from achieving your aims. So why do we do them? And what can we do to break our bad habits?

Read the complete article

have you considered yoga

Have you considered yoga? The advantages of practicing yoga

Have you considered yoga? There are many advantages to practicing yoga. It is a holistic practice benefitting you physically, emotionally & mentally.

Read the complete article

Signs you're slipping into a burn-out

Signs you're slipping into a burn-out

Learn how to recognise the signs of stress and avoid slipping into a burnout or a bore-out

Read the complete article

Isn't depression just a fancy word for feeling a bit down

Isn't depression just a fancy word for feeling a bit down?

Mental health issues such as depression and anxiety affect around 1 in 6 people at some stage of their life. Despite it being such a common problem, many sufferers wait months or even years before seeking help.

Read the complete article

Is your sex life putting your relationship at risk

Is your sex life putting your relationship at risk?

Sexual desire is a complex interaction of hormones, emotions and well-being. When your partner is not as interested in sex as you are, it’s rarely a rejection of you as a person. So it’s essential to be as empathetic as you can regarding your differing libidos.

Read the complete article

How to stop everything going wrong

How to stop everything going wrong

Do you always feel that everything’s always going wrong? Find out how to stop this cycle of bad thoughts in its tracks. When you think positively, things will start to appear positive and you will eventually feel more positive and optimistic.

Read the complete article

Are you stuck in a rut

Are you stuck in a rut?

Sometimes it’s hard to notice when we've become trapped in familiar routines. Take our quiz to find out if you’re stuck in a rut and what you can do about it.

Read the complete article

Free personal advice for your problem?

Are you unsure which Bach flowers can help you? Contact Tom for free advice.

tom vermeersch
Tom Vermeersch

Yes, I want free advice

No thanks, I will do my own research