Bach Flower Advice

Personal Bach flowers remedy - Wizard

Content 50 ml

  • Recommended treatment

Fast delivery
Free shipping on orders of more than € 30.00

VAT included

Do you 'Musturbate' too much?

Do you 'Musturbate' too much

Do you suffer from a disorder known as "musturbation"? This term was first coined in the 1950s by psychotherapist Albert Ellis and described the way a negative inner voice rules our minds and bludgeons us with words such as "must", "should", and "ought". This negative thought pattern is also known as "should-ing" - "I should do better at work", "I ought to go for that promotion", or "I have to help with the school fete". This is your "musturbully" talking. But if you were talking to a friend about a problem, would you be as hard on them as you are on yourself?


Can you benefit from being kinder to yourself?

We know about being kind and compassionate to others, but can we also be kind to ourselves? And why is self-compassion so important? Many of us put the needs of others before our own well-being.

We are raised to believe that putting our needs first is selfish. But in reality, being compassionate and kind to yourself is responsible behaviour rather than selfishness.

Self-compassion is often overlooked, but when you are kind to yourself, it helps you reach out and be kind to others. So when your negative inner voice is telling you that you must do something you don't want to do, ask yourself whether you would advise or speak to a friend in the same way. Or would you advise them not to be so hard on themselves?

It's vital to pause, take a step back and treat yourself kindly, whether mentally congratulating yourself for a successful work project or treating yourself to a spa day. And don't feel guilty while you do it!

However, if being kind to yourself doesn't come naturally, you're certainly not the only one! Practising self-compassion makes many people feel uneasy. See our quiz below and find out whether you're really being kind to yourself or "musturbating" too much.

Quiz: How kind to yourself are you?

1. How much Me-time do you allow yourself?

a) Time for myself isn't necessary for me.

b) I don't always manage to make time for myself because I've got too much on my plate.

c) I always build some time for myself into my daily schedule.

2. You've arranged to meet up with friends for a drink after work, but you've been working on a demanding project all week, and you're feeling exhausted. What do you decide to do?

a) Meet your friends but make an excuse and leave to carry on working, then make an excuse to go back to work

b) Go along because you would feel guilty if you cancelled, but feel stressed and can't stop thinking about work.

c) My friends will understand - I'll explain things to them, arrange to meet another time, and go home to get a good night's sleep.

3. You run into someone who knows you but can't remember their name. Do you:

a) Feel furious with yourself for forgetting their name and go over and over your mortification for the rest of the day.

b) Bluff your way through the conversation, feeling very anxious.

c) Make a joke of it and say sorry - it happens all the time.

4. What are you doing this weekend?

a) Working - I need the weekend to catch up on work stuff I didn't get done in the week.

b) I'll see what everyone else wants to do.

c) I'll be doing something that makes me happy.

5. You're giving a key presentation at work, but you stumble over some words. How do you feel afterwards?

a) Go over and over in your head what a disaster you are and lose your self-confidence.

b) Focus on what went well and learn from your mistakes, so you do better in the future.

c) Talk it through with a friend, feel mortified for a while, then move on.


Mostly As:

You need to practice self-compassion. Being kind to yourself appears to be the last thing on your mind. Learn to ignore your "Musturbully" with baby steps. Set aside one evening a week one night for some self-care. Switch off your screens and relax in a bubble bath, listen to music or watch a movie.

Mostly Bs:

You're kind to yourself - some of the time!

Sometimes you can be your own best friend; at other times, your inner critic gets the better of you. Try being more assertive. It's OK to turn down an invitation sometimes and have a night at home looking after yourself if that's what you need.

Mostly Cs:

You know the importance of being kind to yourself

You are your best friend. You understand how vital it is to be kind to yourself. If you don't look after yourself, you'll burn out and won't function well enough to look after others, so you schedule regular time for yourself every day.

How to boost your self compassion skills

Being kind to yourself doesn't always come naturally. Many of us are hard on ourselves, but it doesn't have to be that way. Self-compassion is a skill you can learn. Here are a few tips to get you started:

Nurture your body

Eat healthy food, go for a walk, or spend the day gardening. Anything you do to look after your body is a vital step to self-compassion. Bach Flowers Mix 44 helps you believe in yourself and reduce performance anxiety.

Be mindful

Meditating for a few minutes or spending time in nature is a fantastic way to be kind to yourself.

Keep a journal

When a situation has caused you pain, describe it in your journal without allocating any blame - especially to yourself. This exercise will help you analyse your feelings and avoid getting trapped in a cycle of negative thinking.

Encourage yourself

If a close friend was facing challenging and stressful times, what would you say to them? You'd try to be supportive, encouraging and optimistic. When you're in a similar situation, ignore your inner "musturbully" and be compassionate towards yourself.


Sources:

https://positivepsychology.com/how-to-practice-self-compassion/

https://self-compassion.org/wptest/wp-content/uploads/self_compassion_exercise.pdf

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/guides-tools-and-activities/five-steps-to-mental-wellbeing/

Created by Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch

Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.

Other articles

Have you considered yoga? The advantages of practicing yoga

Have you considered yoga? There are many advantages to practicing yoga. It is a holistic practice benefitting you physically, emotionally & mentally.

What makes it so hard to go back to school?

Going back to school during a pandemic is a new experience for everyone, and it's understandable if children are feeling anxious about it. We take a look at some of the issues and how you can help your child to get ready for returning to the classroom.

Do you expect too much from others? Find out!

Most people are disappointed when others don't meet their expectations. But when you always expect too much, it isn't healthy, either for yourself or for others. If you often find yourself feeling let down by your loved ones or even by strangers, could it be that you have unrealistic ideas of how people should act?

7 Reasons Why Your Child is Underperforming

As parents, we often worry about a poor school report as much, if not more, as our kids do! And if your child's grades are slipping, you'll be looking for reasons and if there's anything you can do to help.

Dealing with British Summer Time

Some people are overly sensitive to the time change and it can take days, if not weeks, for them to feel right again, while others barely even notice. 

Mistakes as a Parent

Can we learn from our mistakes and develop a stronger, healthier emotional bondwith our kids? To help you identify your weak spots, we’ve rounded up some of the most common mistakes parents make.

Is your sex life putting your relationship at risk?

Sexual desire is a complex interaction of hormones, emotions and well-being. When your partner is not as interested in sex as you are, it’s rarely a rejection of you as a person. So it’s essential to be as empathetic as you can regarding your differing libidos.

I don't want to!

Motivation can be somewhat elusive - some days, you just can't seem to make yourself do the stuff you don't want to. But putting things off just leads to stress, frustration and a sense of guilt.

20 natural ways to prevent and relieve headaches

Headaches can be a real nuisance, especially if you get them frequently. Luckily, there are many natural ways to prevent and relieve headaches without needing to reach for over the counter medication.

Standing Up To A Narcissistic Pervert

Whether it's with a romantic partner or a housemate, there's no doubt that a relationship with a narcissist can be very challenging. But are there ways to cope better? Or is it better to leave the relationship? 

Do you 'Musturbate' too much?

Do you 'Musturbate' too much?
Do you 'Musturbate' too much

Do you suffer from a disorder known as "musturbation"? This term was first coined in the 1950s by psychotherapist Albert Ellis and described the way a negative inner voice rules our minds and bludgeons us with words such as "must", "should", and "ought". This negative thought pattern is also known as "should-ing" - "I should do better at work", "I ought to go for that promotion", or "I have to help with the school fete". This is your "musturbully" talking. But if you were talking to a friend about a problem, would you be as hard on them as you are on yourself?

Bach flowers personal mix

Bach flowers personal mix:

  • Personal combination
  • Based on your symptoms and character
  • Bach flower remedy personally selected by Tom
  • Fast and good results
Discover how Personal Bach flowers remedy - Wizard can help you

Can you benefit from being kinder to yourself?

We know about being kind and compassionate to others, but can we also be kind to ourselves? And why is self-compassion so important? Many of us put the needs of others before our own well-being.

We are raised to believe that putting our needs first is selfish. But in reality, being compassionate and kind to yourself is responsible behaviour rather than selfishness.

Self-compassion is often overlooked, but when you are kind to yourself, it helps you reach out and be kind to others. So when your negative inner voice is telling you that you must do something you don't want to do, ask yourself whether you would advise or speak to a friend in the same way. Or would you advise them not to be so hard on themselves?

It's vital to pause, take a step back and treat yourself kindly, whether mentally congratulating yourself for a successful work project or treating yourself to a spa day. And don't feel guilty while you do it!

However, if being kind to yourself doesn't come naturally, you're certainly not the only one! Practising self-compassion makes many people feel uneasy. See our quiz below and find out whether you're really being kind to yourself or "musturbating" too much.

Quiz: How kind to yourself are you?

1. How much Me-time do you allow yourself?

a) Time for myself isn't necessary for me.

b) I don't always manage to make time for myself because I've got too much on my plate.

c) I always build some time for myself into my daily schedule.

2. You've arranged to meet up with friends for a drink after work, but you've been working on a demanding project all week, and you're feeling exhausted. What do you decide to do?

a) Meet your friends but make an excuse and leave to carry on working, then make an excuse to go back to work

b) Go along because you would feel guilty if you cancelled, but feel stressed and can't stop thinking about work.

c) My friends will understand - I'll explain things to them, arrange to meet another time, and go home to get a good night's sleep.

3. You run into someone who knows you but can't remember their name. Do you:

a) Feel furious with yourself for forgetting their name and go over and over your mortification for the rest of the day.

b) Bluff your way through the conversation, feeling very anxious.

c) Make a joke of it and say sorry - it happens all the time.

4. What are you doing this weekend?

a) Working - I need the weekend to catch up on work stuff I didn't get done in the week.

b) I'll see what everyone else wants to do.

c) I'll be doing something that makes me happy.

5. You're giving a key presentation at work, but you stumble over some words. How do you feel afterwards?

a) Go over and over in your head what a disaster you are and lose your self-confidence.

b) Focus on what went well and learn from your mistakes, so you do better in the future.

c) Talk it through with a friend, feel mortified for a while, then move on.


Mostly As:

You need to practice self-compassion. Being kind to yourself appears to be the last thing on your mind. Learn to ignore your "Musturbully" with baby steps. Set aside one evening a week one night for some self-care. Switch off your screens and relax in a bubble bath, listen to music or watch a movie.

Mostly Bs:

You're kind to yourself - some of the time!

Sometimes you can be your own best friend; at other times, your inner critic gets the better of you. Try being more assertive. It's OK to turn down an invitation sometimes and have a night at home looking after yourself if that's what you need.

Mostly Cs:

You know the importance of being kind to yourself

You are your best friend. You understand how vital it is to be kind to yourself. If you don't look after yourself, you'll burn out and won't function well enough to look after others, so you schedule regular time for yourself every day.

How to boost your self compassion skills

Being kind to yourself doesn't always come naturally. Many of us are hard on ourselves, but it doesn't have to be that way. Self-compassion is a skill you can learn. Here are a few tips to get you started:

Nurture your body

Eat healthy food, go for a walk, or spend the day gardening. Anything you do to look after your body is a vital step to self-compassion. Bach Flowers Mix 44 helps you believe in yourself and reduce performance anxiety.

Be mindful

Meditating for a few minutes or spending time in nature is a fantastic way to be kind to yourself.

Keep a journal

When a situation has caused you pain, describe it in your journal without allocating any blame - especially to yourself. This exercise will help you analyse your feelings and avoid getting trapped in a cycle of negative thinking.

Encourage yourself

If a close friend was facing challenging and stressful times, what would you say to them? You'd try to be supportive, encouraging and optimistic. When you're in a similar situation, ignore your inner "musturbully" and be compassionate towards yourself.


Sources:

https://positivepsychology.com/how-to-practice-self-compassion/

https://self-compassion.org/wptest/wp-content/uploads/self_compassion_exercise.pdf

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/guides-tools-and-activities/five-steps-to-mental-wellbeing/


Marie Pure

Other articles


have you considered yoga

Have you considered yoga? The advantages of practicing yoga

Have you considered yoga? There are many advantages to practicing yoga. It is a holistic practice benefitting you physically, emotionally & mentally.

Read the complete article

What makes it so hard to go back to school

What makes it so hard to go back to school?

Going back to school during a pandemic is a new experience for everyone, and it's understandable if children are feeling anxious about it. We take a look at some of the issues and how you can help your child to get ready for returning to the classroom.

Read the complete article

Do you expect too much from others Find out!

Do you expect too much from others? Find out!

Most people are disappointed when others don't meet their expectations. But when you always expect too much, it isn't healthy, either for yourself or for others. If you often find yourself feeling let down by your loved ones or even by strangers, could it be that you have unrealistic ideas of how people should act?

Read the complete article

7 Reasons Why Your Child is Underperforming

7 Reasons Why Your Child is Underperforming

As parents, we often worry about a poor school report as much, if not more, as our kids do! And if your child's grades are slipping, you'll be looking for reasons and if there's anything you can do to help.

Read the complete article

Dealing with British Summer Time

Dealing with British Summer Time

Some people are overly sensitive to the time change and it can take days, if not weeks, for them to feel right again, while others barely even notice. 

Read the complete article

Mistakes as a Parent

Mistakes as a Parent

Can we learn from our mistakes and develop a stronger, healthier emotional bondwith our kids? To help you identify your weak spots, we’ve rounded up some of the most common mistakes parents make.

Read the complete article

Is your sex life putting your relationship at risk

Is your sex life putting your relationship at risk?

Sexual desire is a complex interaction of hormones, emotions and well-being. When your partner is not as interested in sex as you are, it’s rarely a rejection of you as a person. So it’s essential to be as empathetic as you can regarding your differing libidos.

Read the complete article

I don't want to!

I don't want to!

Motivation can be somewhat elusive - some days, you just can't seem to make yourself do the stuff you don't want to. But putting things off just leads to stress, frustration and a sense of guilt.

Read the complete article

20 natural ways to prevent and relieve headaches

20 natural ways to prevent and relieve headaches

Headaches can be a real nuisance, especially if you get them frequently. Luckily, there are many natural ways to prevent and relieve headaches without needing to reach for over the counter medication.

Read the complete article

Standing Up To A Narcissistic Pervert

Standing Up To A Narcissistic Pervert

Whether it's with a romantic partner or a housemate, there's no doubt that a relationship with a narcissist can be very challenging. But are there ways to cope better? Or is it better to leave the relationship? 

Read the complete article

Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.

© 2025 Mariepure - Webdesign Publi4u

Free personal advice for your problem?

Are you unsure which Bach flowers can help you? Contact Tom for free advice.

tom vermeersch
Tom Vermeersch

Yes, I want free advice

No thanks, I will do my own research