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You will have heard the term “separation anxiety” usually used in conjunction with animals and children, but you may not be aware that adults too can suffer with this condition and at times it can become debilitating.
Certainly adult separation anxiety can devastate relationships, so it is important to take a sympathetic, pragmatic and rational approach.
In children and pets, separation anxiety manifests itself when the sufferer is separated from the primary care giver. In adults, the caregiver is a figure of attachment.
Therefore, adults who suffer with separation anxiety tend to fixate on their spouse or significant other, although it can be their children, their siblings or friends. Estimates in the USA suggest that 6.6% of adults will experience adult separation anxiety at some point in their life, so it is more common than you might imagine. It is more prevalent among women, but does affect men too.
It is less likely to be found among married or cohabiting couples, but can be. It is most likely to be found among those who are separated, widowed or divorced.
Some of the symptoms that can be found among adults with separation anxiety include:
People with a tendency to adult separation anxiety may well find they suffer in other areas too. IT may be that your partner has a generalised anxiety disorder, and recognising those symptoms and dealing with those can be highly beneficial.
If you are going to be away, plan with your partner, what they will be doing. This might mean ensuring they are having social contact elsewhere, or it could involve leaving them a book or hobby activities that they can be getting on with. Encourage them to use their time to do things that they might not get to do when you are there, necessarily.
What sort of things can your partner do when you’re not there? Consider spa days, or pamper treatments, or to invite their friends around. Encourage them to do things that help to lessen their anxiety so that they feel calm.
Be very clear that while you’re away you will only be able to text or call at certain times. Tell your partner, “I’ll be in meetings all day” if this is the case. Manage their expectations about how busy you will be and how you must be professional if you’re away for business.
Your partner wants to know that they are loved and special in your life. They may well drive you mad by asking for this sort of assurance, but the more patient you can be, the easier all round.
Before you go away, hide some little love notes or post-its around the house where your partner will find them. While you’re away, send thoughtful short texts or messages. Send a final message before you go to sleep.
Ask them to keep a journal of what they have been up to and what thoughts they had and then share that with them when you get back. Make your partner understand that their day to day life is important to you.
Focus on what you will do when you get back from your trip. Plan some treats – movie night in, or date night out!
If your partner has a severe case of separation anxiety, you could consider getting in touch with a local support group if you can find one. Your partner may also be able to access an online forum too, and this might help them while you’re away.
If you need further support, there is no harm seeking advice from a professional.
Created by Tom Vermeersch
Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.
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You will have heard the term “separation anxiety” usually used in conjunction with animals and children, but you may not be aware that adults too can suffer with this condition and at times it can become debilitating.
Certainly adult separation anxiety can devastate relationships, so it is important to take a sympathetic, pragmatic and rational approach.
In children and pets, separation anxiety manifests itself when the sufferer is separated from the primary care giver. In adults, the caregiver is a figure of attachment.
Therefore, adults who suffer with separation anxiety tend to fixate on their spouse or significant other, although it can be their children, their siblings or friends. Estimates in the USA suggest that 6.6% of adults will experience adult separation anxiety at some point in their life, so it is more common than you might imagine. It is more prevalent among women, but does affect men too.
It is less likely to be found among married or cohabiting couples, but can be. It is most likely to be found among those who are separated, widowed or divorced.
Some of the symptoms that can be found among adults with separation anxiety include:
People with a tendency to adult separation anxiety may well find they suffer in other areas too. IT may be that your partner has a generalised anxiety disorder, and recognising those symptoms and dealing with those can be highly beneficial.
If you are going to be away, plan with your partner, what they will be doing. This might mean ensuring they are having social contact elsewhere, or it could involve leaving them a book or hobby activities that they can be getting on with. Encourage them to use their time to do things that they might not get to do when you are there, necessarily.
What sort of things can your partner do when you’re not there? Consider spa days, or pamper treatments, or to invite their friends around. Encourage them to do things that help to lessen their anxiety so that they feel calm.
Be very clear that while you’re away you will only be able to text or call at certain times. Tell your partner, “I’ll be in meetings all day” if this is the case. Manage their expectations about how busy you will be and how you must be professional if you’re away for business.
Your partner wants to know that they are loved and special in your life. They may well drive you mad by asking for this sort of assurance, but the more patient you can be, the easier all round.
Before you go away, hide some little love notes or post-its around the house where your partner will find them. While you’re away, send thoughtful short texts or messages. Send a final message before you go to sleep.
Ask them to keep a journal of what they have been up to and what thoughts they had and then share that with them when you get back. Make your partner understand that their day to day life is important to you.
Focus on what you will do when you get back from your trip. Plan some treats – movie night in, or date night out!
If your partner has a severe case of separation anxiety, you could consider getting in touch with a local support group if you can find one. Your partner may also be able to access an online forum too, and this might help them while you’re away.
If you need further support, there is no harm seeking advice from a professional.
Whether it's with a romantic partner or a housemate, there's no doubt that a relationship with a narcissist can be very challenging. But are there ways to cope better? Or is it better to leave the relationship?
It’s such a positive thing to do and hope springs eternal, so why not commit yourself to a change this year? Here’s our tips on how to stick to your new year’s resolutions.
Do you feel you're always doing the same things and not getting anywhere? It's common to feel stuck in a rut, treading water and just going through the motions.
Feel like everyone takes you for granted? Whether it's working late to prepare a presentation or cooking a special birthday meal for your partner, it's nice to be appreciated when you've made an extra effort. And if it seems as if people don't notice, you might feel as if no one values you.
Read the complete article
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Narcissism is a term we often see these days. But what does it mean? It's used to describe a person who is full of themselves or overly vain. However, it's not really about self-love.
As nice as it is for a person to celebrate New Year, it's not so nice for a dog, especially when the loud fireworks go off the whole night. This is really frightening for many dogs. Read our 7 tips on how you can help your dog with his fear of fireworks.
What can you do if your kid doesn't want to go back to school? Here are our hints and tips to help if your child is expressing a refusal to go to school.
Do you always feel that everything’s always going wrong? Find out how to stop this cycle of bad thoughts in its tracks. When you think positively, things will start to appear positive and you will eventually feel more positive and optimistic.
There's so much contradictory health advice out there, it gets confusing. One year, butter is said to be bad for you, and margarine is better. The following year, it's the other way around. One article says running causes strain on your joints; another says it's good for you because it increases bone strength.
Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.
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