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You will have heard the term “separation anxiety” usually used in conjunction with animals and children, but you may not be aware that adults too can suffer with this condition and at times it can become debilitating.
Certainly adult separation anxiety can devastate relationships, so it is important to take a sympathetic, pragmatic and rational approach.
In children and pets, separation anxiety manifests itself when the sufferer is separated from the primary care giver. In adults, the caregiver is a figure of attachment.
Therefore, adults who suffer with separation anxiety tend to fixate on their spouse or significant other, although it can be their children, their siblings or friends. Estimates in the USA suggest that 6.6% of adults will experience adult separation anxiety at some point in their life, so it is more common than you might imagine. It is more prevalent among women, but does affect men too.
It is less likely to be found among married or cohabiting couples, but can be. It is most likely to be found among those who are separated, widowed or divorced.
Some of the symptoms that can be found among adults with separation anxiety include:
People with a tendency to adult separation anxiety may well find they suffer in other areas too. IT may be that your partner has a generalised anxiety disorder, and recognising those symptoms and dealing with those can be highly beneficial.
If you are going to be away, plan with your partner, what they will be doing. This might mean ensuring they are having social contact elsewhere, or it could involve leaving them a book or hobby activities that they can be getting on with. Encourage them to use their time to do things that they might not get to do when you are there, necessarily.
What sort of things can your partner do when you’re not there? Consider spa days, or pamper treatments, or to invite their friends around. Encourage them to do things that help to lessen their anxiety so that they feel calm.
Be very clear that while you’re away you will only be able to text or call at certain times. Tell your partner, “I’ll be in meetings all day” if this is the case. Manage their expectations about how busy you will be and how you must be professional if you’re away for business.
Your partner wants to know that they are loved and special in your life. They may well drive you mad by asking for this sort of assurance, but the more patient you can be, the easier all round.
Before you go away, hide some little love notes or post-its around the house where your partner will find them. While you’re away, send thoughtful short texts or messages. Send a final message before you go to sleep.
Ask them to keep a journal of what they have been up to and what thoughts they had and then share that with them when you get back. Make your partner understand that their day to day life is important to you.
Focus on what you will do when you get back from your trip. Plan some treats – movie night in, or date night out!
If your partner has a severe case of separation anxiety, you could consider getting in touch with a local support group if you can find one. Your partner may also be able to access an online forum too, and this might help them while you’re away.
If you need further support, there is no harm seeking advice from a professional.
Created by Tom Vermeersch
Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.
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You will have heard the term “separation anxiety” usually used in conjunction with animals and children, but you may not be aware that adults too can suffer with this condition and at times it can become debilitating.
Certainly adult separation anxiety can devastate relationships, so it is important to take a sympathetic, pragmatic and rational approach.
In children and pets, separation anxiety manifests itself when the sufferer is separated from the primary care giver. In adults, the caregiver is a figure of attachment.
Therefore, adults who suffer with separation anxiety tend to fixate on their spouse or significant other, although it can be their children, their siblings or friends. Estimates in the USA suggest that 6.6% of adults will experience adult separation anxiety at some point in their life, so it is more common than you might imagine. It is more prevalent among women, but does affect men too.
It is less likely to be found among married or cohabiting couples, but can be. It is most likely to be found among those who are separated, widowed or divorced.
Some of the symptoms that can be found among adults with separation anxiety include:
People with a tendency to adult separation anxiety may well find they suffer in other areas too. IT may be that your partner has a generalised anxiety disorder, and recognising those symptoms and dealing with those can be highly beneficial.
If you are going to be away, plan with your partner, what they will be doing. This might mean ensuring they are having social contact elsewhere, or it could involve leaving them a book or hobby activities that they can be getting on with. Encourage them to use their time to do things that they might not get to do when you are there, necessarily.
What sort of things can your partner do when you’re not there? Consider spa days, or pamper treatments, or to invite their friends around. Encourage them to do things that help to lessen their anxiety so that they feel calm.
Be very clear that while you’re away you will only be able to text or call at certain times. Tell your partner, “I’ll be in meetings all day” if this is the case. Manage their expectations about how busy you will be and how you must be professional if you’re away for business.
Your partner wants to know that they are loved and special in your life. They may well drive you mad by asking for this sort of assurance, but the more patient you can be, the easier all round.
Before you go away, hide some little love notes or post-its around the house where your partner will find them. While you’re away, send thoughtful short texts or messages. Send a final message before you go to sleep.
Ask them to keep a journal of what they have been up to and what thoughts they had and then share that with them when you get back. Make your partner understand that their day to day life is important to you.
Focus on what you will do when you get back from your trip. Plan some treats – movie night in, or date night out!
If your partner has a severe case of separation anxiety, you could consider getting in touch with a local support group if you can find one. Your partner may also be able to access an online forum too, and this might help them while you’re away.
If you need further support, there is no harm seeking advice from a professional.
We all want to be successful but many of us find the path to achieving our dreams is blocked by our fear of failure. Whether you’re trying to lose weight, go backpacking around the world or start up a new business, you need to accept that you might fail many times over before you achieve success.
Do you sometimes despair about humanity because it seems there are far more bad people than good? Are we primarily selfish individuals, thinking only about our own needs? Or is this cynical belief just because we spend so much time online? The truth is more complicated!
Irrational anxieties can seem overwhelming, affecting every aspect of your life. Learn how to beat your fears and worries and take back control.
Have you ever noticed that some people are instantly likeable? Many people believe that people will only like you because of natural traits you're born with: good looks, talent and sociability. But this is a misconception. Getting people to like you is within your control, and it's all to do with self-belief, knowing yourself and being emotionally intelligent. Here's what to do to be more likeable.
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While you often hear people joking that they have OCD because they like to keep their house clean and tidy, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder can be a distressing and debilitating mental health condition with a wide range of symptoms.
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Read the complete article
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Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.
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