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Do you sometimes despair about humanity because it seems there are far more bad people than good? Are we primarily selfish individuals, thinking only about our own needs? Or is this cynical belief just because we spend so much time online? The truth is more complicated!
Anyone who spends most of their days online in chatrooms and forums is more likely to feel that humanity is going to hell in a handbasket. People can be so hateful to one another under the cover of anonymity the internet provides. But those who actually get out there and do real-life stuff are more likely to believe that most people are good and do their best.
One reason for this is the “echo chamber” effect. Search engines learn our likes and dislikes and the things we click on, so the first things we see when we switch on our screens are things that interest us. And so you get individuals finding their “their people” online. So far, so good, but problems can soon arise.
Posters sitting safely behind the anonymity of their keyboards can target individuals and egg one another on to write more and more unpleasant, bullying and outrageous things. Bad behaviour is condoned, a “mob mentality” can snowball, and it can seem as if the whole planet consists of nothing but evil trolls waiting to pile onto their next target.
Social media and the 24-hour news cycle draw our attention to every disastrous event. We feel as if bad stuff is happening in our own backyards, and this leads to a permanent sense of uneasiness. The self-reinforcement of internet “enclaves” and our continuous access to bad news appears to be a toxic combination that can reinforce a belief that there are more bad people than good.
Another reason for believing that more people are bad than good is our inbuilt negativity bias. Thanks to a trick of evolution handed down from our prehistoric ancestors, we pay more attention to negative information than positive. In ancient times, being alert to danger was our key to survival and today, we still tend to dwell on the bad stuff rather than the good.
Our negativity bias causes us to dwell on a bad event or comment even when a much greater proportion of positive events has occurred. For example, suppose you’ve spent the day with friends and had a fantastic time, but during the day, someone made a comment that upset you. That’s what you’re likely to remember the day for and categorise it as bad, rather than the generally positive experience.
We must remember that things are rarely as bad as we think they are. We need to understand that our brains naturally incline towards noticing, processing, and remembering the bad stuff, but this is an overreaction. So we have to find ways to balance our negative bias with positivity. If you feel overwhelmed with negative thoughts, Bach Flower Mix 65 can help to drive away the dark clouds and balance your emotions.
Some other ways to counterbalance our negative bias include:
No one is all good or all bad. It’s more complicated than that: good people can do bad things, and bad people have some goodness in them. You have to take responsibility for your feelings and the way you respond to events. Remember that you can control how much you let bad stuff affect you. Learn to accentuate the positive and appreciate the good things around you. The more you can train your mind to override your inbuilt negativity, the happier your life will be.
Sources:
https://www.psycom.net/negativity-bias
https://markmanson.net/newsletters/mindfck-monday-66?vgo_ee=TsaYq4oqXc1qfn78I2c6ZWQOP8ZXmRzMvz3Yw%2BcA7gI%3D
Created by Tom Vermeersch
Tom Vermeersch is a certified Psychologist and Bach flower expert with more than 30 years of experience.
It's natural to compare our own lives with those of others - weighing up the pros and cons of situations helps us make decisions. But there can be a downside when you find you're constantly comparing yourself with others, envying their seemingly perfect lives and wondering why they are luckier, more prosperous, and better looking than you.
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Do you sometimes despair about humanity because it seems there are far more bad people than good? Are we primarily selfish individuals, thinking only about our own needs? Or is this cynical belief just because we spend so much time online? The truth is more complicated!
Anyone who spends most of their days online in chatrooms and forums is more likely to feel that humanity is going to hell in a handbasket. People can be so hateful to one another under the cover of anonymity the internet provides. But those who actually get out there and do real-life stuff are more likely to believe that most people are good and do their best.
One reason for this is the “echo chamber” effect. Search engines learn our likes and dislikes and the things we click on, so the first things we see when we switch on our screens are things that interest us. And so you get individuals finding their “their people” online. So far, so good, but problems can soon arise.
Posters sitting safely behind the anonymity of their keyboards can target individuals and egg one another on to write more and more unpleasant, bullying and outrageous things. Bad behaviour is condoned, a “mob mentality” can snowball, and it can seem as if the whole planet consists of nothing but evil trolls waiting to pile onto their next target.
Social media and the 24-hour news cycle draw our attention to every disastrous event. We feel as if bad stuff is happening in our own backyards, and this leads to a permanent sense of uneasiness. The self-reinforcement of internet “enclaves” and our continuous access to bad news appears to be a toxic combination that can reinforce a belief that there are more bad people than good.
Another reason for believing that more people are bad than good is our inbuilt negativity bias. Thanks to a trick of evolution handed down from our prehistoric ancestors, we pay more attention to negative information than positive. In ancient times, being alert to danger was our key to survival and today, we still tend to dwell on the bad stuff rather than the good.
Our negativity bias causes us to dwell on a bad event or comment even when a much greater proportion of positive events has occurred. For example, suppose you’ve spent the day with friends and had a fantastic time, but during the day, someone made a comment that upset you. That’s what you’re likely to remember the day for and categorise it as bad, rather than the generally positive experience.
We must remember that things are rarely as bad as we think they are. We need to understand that our brains naturally incline towards noticing, processing, and remembering the bad stuff, but this is an overreaction. So we have to find ways to balance our negative bias with positivity. If you feel overwhelmed with negative thoughts, Bach Flower Mix 65 can help to drive away the dark clouds and balance your emotions.
Some other ways to counterbalance our negative bias include:
No one is all good or all bad. It’s more complicated than that: good people can do bad things, and bad people have some goodness in them. You have to take responsibility for your feelings and the way you respond to events. Remember that you can control how much you let bad stuff affect you. Learn to accentuate the positive and appreciate the good things around you. The more you can train your mind to override your inbuilt negativity, the happier your life will be.
Sources:
https://www.psycom.net/negativity-bias
https://markmanson.net/newsletters/mindfck-monday-66?vgo_ee=TsaYq4oqXc1qfn78I2c6ZWQOP8ZXmRzMvz3Yw%2BcA7gI%3D
It's natural to compare our own lives with those of others - weighing up the pros and cons of situations helps us make decisions. But there can be a downside when you find you're constantly comparing yourself with others, envying their seemingly perfect lives and wondering why they are luckier, more prosperous, and better looking than you.
Facing the loss of a family member or close friend is probably one of the most difficult challenges that life throws at us. When we've lost a partner, parent, brother or sister, we're likely to experience intense grief.
Your relationship ends, or you lose your job, and you get stuck in a rut of negative thoughts and suffering. How good are you at letting go of grudges and accepting that some things are beyond your control? Take our quiz to find out!
Read the complete article
When you think about things that will make you happy, what are the images that come to mind? Wealth, beauty, a dream house, long holidays, a top of the range car? Happiness is not a constant and how happy we feel depends on the way we choose to live our lives.
As parents, we often worry about a poor school report as much, if not more, as our kids do! And if your child's grades are slipping, you'll be looking for reasons and if there's anything you can do to help.
Why do you feel butterflies at the start of a new romance, and how can you keep the flame burning in a long term relationship as the spark starts to fade?
Read the complete article
Narcissism is a term we often see these days. But what does it mean? It's used to describe a person who is full of themselves or overly vain. However, it's not really about self-love.
Have you ever noticed that some people are instantly likeable? Many people believe that people will only like you because of natural traits you're born with: good looks, talent and sociability. But this is a misconception. Getting people to like you is within your control, and it's all to do with self-belief, knowing yourself and being emotionally intelligent. Here's what to do to be more likeable.
No one knows what the future holds, so don't waste time and energy worrying about it. Read our tips and find out how to stop being afraid of what might never happen.
Read the complete article
Can we learn from our mistakes and develop a stronger, healthier emotional bondwith our kids? To help you identify your weak spots, we’ve rounded up some of the most common mistakes parents make.
Bach Flowers are not medicinal but harmless plant extracts which are used to support health.
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